The Zen of Red Wine

Is Your Year Half Full or Half Empty?

2009-07-03T04:35:00.000-07:00

7 Tips to Make 2009 Your Best Year Yet

We just passed the half-way point of 2009 and are half-way closer to 2010, summer is upon us and for most of us that is a pleasant, out door, carefree time, even if we aren't going anywhere on vacation. Traditionally this is a time to slack off a little, give ourselves a breather so to speak. Taking care of yourself and relaxing and rejuvenating is extremely important if you are on a path to success but to get the most out of your vacation keep in mind the following tips...

How much vacation time do I have?
When specifically does my vacation start and end? This is epecially important if you are self-employeed or own your own business.
Realistically what can I and do I want to get done before my vacation starts? If possible put together a REALISTIC and ATTAINABLE checklist of things to be done before you go on vacation.
How am I doing in relation to my yearly intentions or goals? What is working, what isn't and why? If you did not set any NOW is a great time to start. If you reflect on this before your vacation you plant the seed so that new ideas and motivation can grow.
Is 2009, half full or half empty? What would it take to make it half full if it isn't already? Remeber the glass of water half-full or half-empty? A change in perspective may be your answer.
How can I make 2009 my BEST YEAR YET?
What is holding me back? What do I need to give up, change or strengthen?

Have an amazing guilt free vacation.

If you would like to see how working with a coach can make you more effective and more efficient, reaching your goals faster and making 2009 your best year yet email Marianne Emma Jeff coach@motivatmyself.com to set up your complimentary 30 minute strategy session.

Death of The Self

2009-07-01T07:28:00.000-07:00

I recently read a, very short, account of Buckminster Fuller and his pondering of life that really made me think. This extraordinary man, whom I am now on a pursuit to find our much more about, spent a couple of hours contemplating suicide one night. At the end of his contemplation he decided instead to live from that day forward "as if" he had killed himself that night. What did he mean by that? He decided to give up his agenda, taking things personally (he was dead, no person left to take, right) and to instead see what needed to be done and to do it as a servant of the universe. As I am contemplating the zen of red wine this really resonated with me as at the beginning of my quest for Zenness I also contemplated and acted upon suicidal tendencies, obviously it didn't pan out or I would not be writing this post right now. On my journey of consciousness I have come to the end of red wine and am now faced with "wherever you go, there you are" although many, many years ago, my dance with death is unfinished, or rather unconfronted. My lack of consciousness lay a blanket over it covering it loosely so that once I opened up my consciousness again it lies there under the first layer in need of resolution, needing to be laid to rest.

Don't get me wrong, I am not proclaiming the age old question "to be or not to be" I am firmly rooted in "to be" but the state of mind, unmet needs or whatever stirred up the "not to be" like Hamlets dead father needs to be acknowledged and laid to rest. Many, many years later I feel a deep connection to Buckminster Fullers moment of Zen as he moved past self into oneness with the universe. So it seems on my journey for the Zen of red wine I have come full circle. I now stand facing my demons, my attachment to self and I wonder what if that part of me were to die but the rest of me were "to be". What would it mean to be stripped of that part of my self, to lay it to rest and to move forward. Just the thought of it gives me a lightness, a release. However in order to lay it to rest I first need to find those parts of me, to give them the contemplation they deserve and then to dissect them like trimming the fat from a piece of meat. I wonder will the baby weight I am carry around come off then? alas that sounds like my self talking! The journey continues...

Waiting For the Mail

2009-06-30T08:31:00.001-07:00

What is it that gives mail such lure? I remember waiting for the postman (I'm English) with such excitement and anticipation now the snail mail has been replaced by e-mail. Now instead of one delivery a day we can have as many deliveries as we want simply by sending the send/receive button. Each time we sit watching it process, sometimes I even hit it twice one after the other, I cannot tell you why. It's almost as if I feel like it needs double the push to get through a really big piece of mail or something. I have noticed that Monday and Tuesday are prime e-mails days with Wednesday following behind. Thursday is slow and Friday, Saturday and Sunday are usually nothing more than e-zines and daily subscriptions. Now don't get me wrong I'm not talking about all the junk and requested for info etc, I'm talking about those pearls we are waiting for those e-mails gems in amongst the rocks.

What are we all waiting for?

Opportunities, clients or in my husbands case perhaps a job offer. Some people wait for new friends on face book or for someone to write on their wall or maybe even a new follower on Twitter. It seems there is a whole lot of waiting going on and now summer time has hit the e-mail machine has powered down even more; It is like watching paint dry.

I hate the power of waiting. It doesn't matter how much activity I do and as al lot of you know, I do a lot of activity (calling, emailing, responding, newsletters, events...) it never seems to balance out. The responses just come when they come there is no pattern or calculation to understand or anticipate them.

So how do we take away it's power?
By taking action, unrelated action, weeding the garden, going for a walk, a day at the beach, organizing clients files or writing a book. Action is the antidote for lots of things and it comes with lots of extra benefits like fulfilment and fun and relaxation.

We cannot and I suspect do not want to eliminate summertime or Thursday through Sunday but we can choose our reaction and instead respond.

5 Ways to Stop Waiting

1. Create a list of actions you can or would like to do and review it every time you catch yourself waiting.
2. If you are self-employed create summer hours. You will most likely find that you get just as much done in less time and don't have to feel guilty about having fun.
3. If everybody is at the beach maybe that is where the opportunities are too, get out there and meet people, mingle. It takes 3 - 4,000 people to know what you do for you to have a steady stream of opportunities.
4. Turn off your computer and go take action instead at certain times every day.
5. Work somewhere there is no reception of wireless for a few hours every week.

Bonus: Get ready for the end of summer and be ahead of the game. Set up email campaigns and newsletters for the rest of the year, write marketing for the holidays or organize your receipts and set up a system for you finances so tax season is a breeze.

Wherever You Go...There You Are

2009-06-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

Hmmm. As the honeymoon of conscious living wears off, forced to examine my needs, wants and desires I am left contemplating...

Wherever I go, there I am.

It's been about four weeks since my moment of revelation when I decided that red wine was no longer a part of my Zen of life. As ordinary living creeps and blends with conscious living I began to feel a wave of boredom coming over me. Not the kind of wave that engulfs you or crashes down on you soaking you to the skin, but almost a mist just landing, barely noticeable if you weren't paying attention, if you weren't conscious. At first sensing something missing I simply tried to fill the hole with another glass of fizzy water or a single dark piece of chocolate. Then with still heightened awareness I notice the hole was still there. An interesting conundrum materialized, how to fill the hole to feel whole.

Parallel to this discovery I am also piecing together my one person show - The Zen of Red Wine. The show is sewn from the fabric of my life and exploring my journey from these two perspectives simultaneously is insightful to say the least. Roll into this life purpose and vision for my business's and you have quite the stew. Exhausting to say the least. Last night exhausted from my quest for the holy grail of completeness I picked up a meditation book desperate AGAIN for answers and there it was in bold print...wherever you go, there you are. Comforting and disturbing all in one perfect little dose. So I suppose it's back to me, back to my needs, my values and my core looking for answers from the evidence and recognizing the unfinished business of my journey so far. So I suppose it is now time to visit the source, the beginning of the Zen of red wine and to walk the path again. This time clear headed and conscious, aware of the wind changes and the gaps. It's time to build bridges, seek the truth and take a good honest look. And I thought the journey was over!

The Solid Beat of Consistency

2009-06-15T09:09:00.000-07:00

Just like the beat of a drum consistency keeps the beat of life, work, balance and the success we so desire. The heart of what I do as a coach is to beat the drum of consistency for my clients. Just like my clients I get lost in the music of life; lost in the new rhythm, the different voices and lyrics that grab my attention and before I know it my hand hangs still over the drum, the beat lost. I went to a drum circle on Saturday, what fun to beat on a drum with a group of people. I don't know about you but my rhythm is AWFUL! Some people have natural rhythm and some of us... well, we have to work at it. Life is no different. In the end it doesn't matter so much what you do as it does that you are consistent with it; Whether it is writing on face book, networking, marketing, working on exploding the myths that are holding you back in your life or rehearsing your scales consistency will bring you progress.

Evolving Self

2009-06-05T07:45:00.000-07:00

Moving from pain to power!

Last weekend I was feeling under the weather, whatever that really means - but I digress, and so I urged my family to go away for the weekend to visit family alone and I stayed home binging on...

BOOKS!

Now I know you were expecting me to say Red Wine and there was a fair amount of that being prescribed as well, it's an excellent medication, but the binge was primarily on books. On Friday I consumed "Tribes", "The Art of Possibility" and "Rich Dad Poor Dad". Saturday I finished up "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" and then moved on to "Flow". On Sunday morning I dragged all my books upstairs to my green couch and surrounded myself with them like one of the forty thieves admiring his jewels. Looking at all the books, in the midst of the addiction I somehow stepped away from myself and observed the frenzied seeker on the couch. It was a first for me and the moment I looked at the situation from this perspective the penny dropped.

There is no answer!

I'm sure all of you reading this came to this conclusion I long time ago, but for me this was quite the revelation. All the craving of the next book, the sifting through, the seeking I was doing I now realized was because I was looking for THE answer. Every book offers up at least one solution, some of them are well thought out and insightful but they never satiated the seeker. I now realized that if I wrote down all the answers that these books provided and broke them down to their core everything came back to - being present. Working with hundreds of clients and their goals, challenges and intentions I had long ago realized that it always came down to being present. If you are lacking confidence, it is because you are in your head listening to your gremlins, the answer is to be present and the same applies to almost every challenge in your life. I knew this, yet I was still looking for THE answer, or perhaps a quicker easier answer or something perhaps more tangible like eating cabbage or giving up coffee. I then saw that a much better thing to ponder is...

What the hell is the damn question!

I sat for a moment allowing this to resonate surveying the books around me. I still saw them as wonderful resource but the heroin had been extracted and now my lust had turned more into appreciation. My eye caught Gary Zukav's book "Seat of the Soul". I glanced through the index and noticed a chapter on addiction which grabbed my attention. As I read that chapter, for the first time, I saw addiction from a completely different perspective. As a highly functioning alcoholic for many years I had been carrying a lot of guilt and fear around. The more I thought about it I realized I had created a myth, that I was very attached to, that sober people were losers, didn't have fun and all they thought about was being sober. This chapter turned that assumption on it's head. Gary speaks of coming from a place of power, of choice and moving towards enlightenment when you choose to be conscious rather than unconscious. Now instead of thinking of being sober and seeing all the things I would have to give up I saw all the possibilities and the power of remaining conscious. Therefore by not drinking I wasn't depriving myself I was opening myself up, now that sounded a lot more attractive to me.

So I am evolving as you see, before your eyes. It has been 6 days since I took back my power and choose to live consciously. I feel like a butterfly slowly emerging from my cocoon, testing the water and making sure that I am in a safe place, getting ready to spread my vibrant wings and fly. Not as dramatic as my usual ejaculations but I think that is a good sign I am on the right path or to be precise forging the right path.

The "Wanter's" and the "Doer's"

2009-05-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

Over the years and hundreds of introductory calls I have noticed that there seem to be two categories; the wanters and the doers. The wanters hang up with me after a complimentary session professing how much they would like to work with me and the doers say "yes" lets do this. For a long time I did not see this distinction, it was fogged up with the oh so well intentioned words of the "wanters". They even follow up with emails to "their next coach" and for a while they check-in to repeat their proclamation that we will work together soon. Now I don't think you are destined to either group for the rest of your life. Perhaps at different stages and in different situations we must switch membership to protect ourselves, I'm not sure. What I do know is that it is very hard to hang on to a want and it is much easier to stay focused when you are active and moving forward. After a while the inspiration, the lust, the spark of that first complimentary session wears off and is forgotten. Without the consistency it is easy to slip back into old habits and routines or perhaps even worse a new lust, a new shiny metal object. In the latter case you live jumping from shiny object to shiny object without ever landing anywhere. In life it is important to stand and take stock periodically, to stick with something to give it a chance and to have measurable standards so that you can learn what works and what doesn't and shift your strategy accordingly.

My clients, "the doers", amaze me with their progress, they stride forward and shift habits that have controlled them for years without even noticing. That's when I get to do one of my very important jobs, to applaud them, to send them off on a victory lap before they jump back into the race. The "wanters" tug at my heart strings. I bump into them and their intentions and they assure me that once they get this duck in line, or finish this project that they will be ready to work with me. I smile and hope that this is true, but as you have heard me say before hope is not an effective strategy for success. Life is about doing, if you are sitting in the stands with well intentions you are not in the game. I encourage you to, jump in the game, it's a lot of fun.

Ask

2009-05-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

39 1/2 or 5 months or whatever fraction of a year, clicked into place last night. Like Sofie I felt the desire to slow down time and document it's progress. Kirk and I had always refused to go beyond whole or 1/2 once she turned one so I guess 39 1/2 it is. I picture the clock vividly but instead of going from 1 - 12 it goes from 1 - 40, mostly in increments of 1.

39 1/2 clicked into place with an intense desire to lose who I had become and go back to me. As a lay awake trying to send my shoulders into deep relaxation and failing miserable I realized what I was trying to lose was deeper than the 30 lbs of baby weight I first thought it was. It was more than losing the bloated, dishevelled, double chinned, crazy red headed, round bookworm glass wearing me that reflected back at me at me from the black screen of my laptop. As I lingered in between the relaxation, stumbling on my path for the zen of red wine, desperately trying to untangle the two things, I felt lost. My theme of forging my own path had now left me lost in a field knee high in mud, completely unaware of which direction to take. I could see no visible path and thank goodness, because for the first time all the bright shiny paths calling me and tugging me in every direction at once were gone.

Lost I pondered what to do, I consulted the map of relaxation of glimpses of peace and hoping for insight.

And finally...I asked.

What do I do where do I go. This place felt like home, it was comforting to throw up my arms and sit not knowing, to give myself over and not jump up and down like a child trying to guess the answer. In the calmness I saw the answer, as a coach I had been trying to find my path, my style, my unique way of communicating and in the quiet I found the answer. What came to me was to stop fighting myself, to embrace my creativity, what kind of 90 day coach am I? That is the question my coach left me with last week. I had left the question behind until last night when I picked it up briefly like a pair of dirty socks and then put it in the laundry basket not yet ready to clean them and then this morning I picked it up again, just this very second and owned it. Asking had brought me my answers, I am creative, I cannot fight that, I love technology and progress and crayons and spirituality. I realized a quiet peaceful moment of contemplation at the beginning of every session was the place to begin, more space for my clients, doing it now instead of adding to their to do list and when they are stuck instead of trying to give them possible answers to linger in the moment longer and even leave it hanging advising them to sit with themselves like I did last night and ask, ask the universe, their creative muse or their higher power but to give them the gift of asking and holding open space for them in the craziness to contemplate. I have always prided myself as holding open the space in peoples lives, now I see myself really walking that talk, really holding them in that peaceful place of the present and empowering them to linger there keeping the future and past at bay, to enjoy it briefly, to focus on it and to enjoy as it expands. I see myself as using structure to give them the freedom they desire, the freedom to make room to grow, to quiet the chatter and to hear the answers but mostly to give them the gift of asking.

Do you launch or ejaculate?

2009-05-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of buzz about "launching" for a while now but I am currently taking a marketing class and in the third month we will be "launching".

Before when I heard this term I thought:

Oh another trend
I know how to promote
I don't need to launch
I already know how to do that
That's just for big companies
I bet that has a hefty price tag
I can do this alone

The class I'm in doesn't even get to the launch part until month three but I suppose the idea of it began stirring up my consciousness. Suddenly, as has been happening a lot recently, a realization dived into the forefront of my mind. "You don't launch you ejaculate." I stopped and pondered for a while, is that true? YES came back to me loud and clear.

I also realized I'm not alone, a lot of my clients suffer from premature ejaculation too. They spend a lot of time composing the perfect email and then proudly send it off into the webiverse and then...wait. Eventually becoming dispondent when noone responds or they don't get the response they had hoped for.

I am especially guilty because I have a lot of technical skills and can bang out a new workshop, podcast or group in a few minutes and have it up on the web. When I think of launch I think of a story unfolding, of anticipation and sharing, a big build up. In contrast my ejaculations seem quite sad. I have clear vision, strong strategies and take action but have been missing the boat, so to speak, on the launch. Look out, there is some champagne smashing on it way!

What a Beautiful Day

2009-05-06T07:20:00.000-07:00

I made a huge leap with my zen of red wine last night. I was napping on the couch, embarrassingly at 7:30 PM, I was exhausted and thought perhaps I was coming down with something. At 8:15 PM my client called to cancel and I must admit I was relived. Kirk came upstairs as I hung up the phone. "Do you want to sit outside and have a drink" tumbled out of my mouth. "Sure" he said in his usual accommodating way. He shuffled downstairs to turn off the computer and I saunter into the bathroom. It was there sitting on the white throne that the shift began. Recently I have been having hypnotherapy and as I sat there one of the tools popped into my head. The hypnotherapist had given me an acronym STOP to use when I had a craving for the zen of red wine. I stopped and paused on the toilet and then got up grabbed a glass of water and came over to the couch to continue my pause. On the way I shuffled through my desk for the paper with the acronym on it that she had given me. Stop and then think, OK. I thought about the craving popping into my mind and then sat and acknowledged it for a while noticing it coming in and out. By the time Kirk came back upstairs I realized I didn't need to sit outside and have a drink, I needed to go to bed. In the pause I had enabled myself to respond rather than react to my desire to "feel better". It was easy, natural and felt completely indulgent. Once downstairs I washed my face, brushed teeth and settled into some good reading..."Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway". I love my bedtime routine but when I listen to the siren of red wine calling I often just don't get to it. Night time routine is a springboard into the next day and oh what a beautiful day it is today.

3 Day Work Week

2009-05-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure where it came from but as I did my monthly taking stock and prioritizing "3 Day Work Week" arrived and sat like a taxi cab parked in my consciousness. It honked it's horn to declare it's arrival but only once, not in an obnoxious way. I pulled back the net curtain to look to see who was honking. Hmm "3 Day Work Week" is here I thought to myself and nodded; before I knew it I was sitting in the 3 day work week taxi looking out of the window and enjoying the view.

I started yesterday and it felt delicious. I love to work, I love tinkering with my web site like a car enthusiast on a Sunday morning, I love writing articles and of course I love speaking and working with clients. All this love has made me sloppy and unfocused. With an abundance of time and no boundaries I have been coming from the mentality that there is time to do everything that I want. Every new idea has a place but at the cost of success.

In a recent networking event the speaker shared a success formula which I have tweaked slightly and made it my own

Passion + Vision + Consistent Action = Star Performer/Successful Business

By creating boundaries around my time with the three day work week I think I will be accelerating my ride to Star Performer.

I am already noticing a difference. In a three hour block between clients yesterday I banged out a whole bunch of projects which I would have indulged in before for a lot longer. The boundaries of the 3 day work week keep me simple, focused and stop me from over complicating things which if you've read Creativity Versus Perfectionism you will know is my gift and my challenge. I am also looking forward to four days off which will renew, refresh and re-calibrate me ready for the next 3 day work week.

The Delicate Balance of Life

2009-05-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

Just like the world has a delicate Eco system, so do we. I was reminded of that at 3 AM on Tuesday night. I was lay awake, my mind busy going through all the files in my mind de-fragmenting and doing maintaince like my computer. Suddenly at 3 AM it hit upon the file entitled, comfy peaceful place of pure indulgence, green couch. For those who have been following me about a six weeks ago I moved my couch into the dining room and it fell into place like the last piece of a jigsaw. I sat on it and a feeling of calmness and peace trickled though my body. That reminds me my husband bet at the time it wouldn't stay here two weeks, I need to collect on that! Anyway for two wonderful weeks I enjoyed the couch. In the evenings I lit candles and incense and sat relaxing listening to music and reading in pure indulgence on it. Then...

MY NEW LAPTOP ARRIVED!

My old laptop had lost it's ability to connect wirelessly. I had been patiently waiting it's arrival and eagerly sat on my peaceful, indulgent couch installing scrap booking factory deluxe, ACT and all the files on my external hard drive onto it. Day after day I sat, comfy legs outstretched on the indulgent couch. I sat on it and blogged my heart out, created flyer's to hand out at a fundraiser I was supporting, wrote speeches and answered emails. About a week ago I began to notice that my office had moved, now it was on the coffee table and all over the beautiful, peaceful green couch. Appalled I cleared it off, placed all the paper under the coffee table and every few nights shut off the laptop and put it under the coffee table too.

At 3AM on Tuesday night or rather Wednesday morning, to be correct, I realized I had completely violated my peaceful, calm, indulgent space. I had in essence crapped all over it and taken away it's positive power. In realizing this I began to retrace my steps and saw the effect this had rippled into the delicate balance of my life. When the tether to the desk was broken with the arrival of the new laptop all my boundaries around work hours were blown out of the water. I worked later and hit the red wine harder.

So on Wednesday I grabbed my office and relocated it to the desk in the living room next to a not so comfy and not even close to indulgent chair. I could feel the changes begin to ripple as I cleared off all the gunk on the couch. In my mind I began to set new boundaries around my laptop and the couch. Like the delicate balance of the world it will take a little time for the positive changes to take effect but I am excited to reclaim my peace, calm and pure indulgence.

Perfectionism Versus Creativity

2009-04-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

Somewhere between 12 midnight and 1 AM, as I lay awake in a "more than 4 glass of wine mind surge" , a massive penny dropped into my consciousness.

"Perfectionism is getting in the way of me moving forward."

I am not sure what stirred it up or cleared the muddy water so that is was visible, perhaps it was the insightful hypnosis session I had on Wednesday which gathered it from my subconscious and drove it slowly over to my conscious mind, I'm not sure. I know where the thought originated though, it was planted by a wonderful teacher whose class I am taking right now. In her class we are exploring Personal Path, the journey beyond personal foundation. This Personal Path represents a level of living which can only be accomplished completely when we have gotten clear of the past, satisfied our unmet needs in healthy ways and uncovered and began to orient our lives around who we truly are. At the beginning of the class the teacher asked us all to revisit the personal foundation program and to see where we might need to tighten it up before we began. I snorted in frustration and when prompted shared that I had been doing it for three years and still had not completed it. Others in the class sympathized and we were told that personal foundation was a spiral and a life long process. This information did not appease me though. When I first found the personal foundation program I dived into it feet first and ran all through it lesson after lesson like a kid in a candy store. I picked up a tootsie roll, ran over to the bon-bons, sucked on some sherbet and chewed on some liquorice. That tactic left me with none of the lessons finished. Every time I start I never finish and as I continued to share this with the class the teacher inquired if "there was a little perfectionism going on here". I stopped dead in my tracks, perfectionism, no, then I gave it a second thought and have been chewing on it ever since, for almost three weeks in fact until 12 midnight last night.

That is when the penny dropped. My definition of perfectionism had caused the cloudiness but over the last few weeks I suppose my subconscious had been working at the lock slowly until it burst open last night. For me perfectionism meant, to be perfect, to have everything in order, almost O.C. D. What I now realize is that perfectionism is a lot like creativity. It is about a busy and creative mind over complicating things. I then stepped back and saw all the places I have and am doing this, which are making it impossible for me to move forward. Nothing is simple with me, but it is not because I want it to be perfect, well at least that is not the way I saw it in the past, it is because I have such BIG plans. I cannot possibly perform such BIG plans all at once. You might compare this to doing too much, an aha moment I had a few years ago, but there is most definitely a destinction between the two. The bigness and creativity behind every idea I have, sets me up from the beginning to fail. It is the seed behind the "doing too much" it is the force that puts it in motion.

As I realized all this excitedly and reflect on all the BIG things I was currently undertaking I saw the solution, I saw that simplicity was the answer. At that moment I once again saw my present as perfect, I realized the more than four glass of wine mind torture had been a necessary tool in unlocking this mystery and I saw from another side, the zen of red wine.

Cleaning Before the Maid Comes

2009-04-21T08:10:00.000-07:00

Life has been pretty hectic the last few days. I have been focused on a speaking engagement and launching some new groups and my world has revolved around that and that alone. Out the window went my meditation schedule, eating well, and in came RED WINE... to the rescue!

There was a small part of me that didn't forget about pure indulgence and my quest for the zen of red wine, that part was my mind. Picture my mind as a huge town hall. The hall is a bustle of activity, 6 ft tables are laid out with worker bees putting things together in an assembly line. Someone very important stands on the stage and a crowd gathers to hear what he has to say. Way, way at the back of the room, someone stands quietly and politely saying "excuse me", "excuse me". It's consistent and once in a while the crowd acknowledges the person at the back of the room, "Yes". Given the opportunity the small voice replies "we need to meditate to centre us and bring the calmness back into our lives, we need to get back into schedule so we can take time to nourish ourselves, we need to exercise to build up our strength and.....". "Yes, yes, yes" the man at the front replies, "we will do it later, right now we are doing something very important and we don't have time for that".

Last week the person at the back of the room picked up the phone and called in the cavalry. Since then they have been pondering how best to utilize the cavalry when they arrive. I have an appointment with a hypnotherapist on Wednesday, tomorrow. My hope is that she can help me to keep the crowd at the town hall in order. In preparation today, I meditate again, the first time in at least a week. Last night I cleared off my work area and am enjoying a sense of calm in my environment again. Today I will eat well and review my schedule and hopefully I will discover a gap for yoga or pilates. All of this reminds me of cleaning before the maid comes. I know I can do a lot of this stuff, I want the maid to be able to do her job and so I need to clear the path so she can get her vacuum cleaner in and dust.

Living in an Alternate Universe Where Red Wine No Longer Exists?

2009-04-13T10:53:00.000-07:00

I know I'm getting a little far our here but bare with me. Last week was a huge challenge for me, on one hand I had a very productive work week but on the other my self care went down the toilet and with it my joy, peace, calm and pure indulgence. Yesterday, Sunday, I sat filling out the prep form for my session with my coach today (Monday) and began rallying up my self care. I acknowledged all that I had accomplished and vowed to hit the gym on Monday. Mission accomplished, I got back in the saddle, literally, I like to go to spinning. But boy was it hard work, part of me thinks I had a dud bike today and the other part of me says "stop whining and get on with it, your out of shape", I'm giving them both equal time and the jury is out right now and whose right.

As I struggled to get the pedals to keep moving, one of my favorite songs came on, Fighter by Christina Aquiliera. Did that make pedaling easier? NO, but it brought to mind a lesson I was working on today in one of my continuing education classes for coaching. I suddenly saw the connection between red wine and the lesson, which focuses on the present being perfect, as it is right now. As Christina belted out "makes me that much stronger, makes me that much wiser, thanks for making me a fighter" I saw the connection, but damn it sure is a pain in the ass being a fighter some times. I pushed through the song and another and made it through the class.

Seeing the present as perfect darted in and out of my consciousness peppered with "why me" and "help" until I turned the corner (wow didn't see the metaphor before) onto Huntington Drive on my way home. That's when it hit me

What if red wine did not exist, or any alcohol for that matter? A sense of excitement came over me. It amazes me the shifts that can takes place when we change our thoughts. When I think of the idea of never drinking red wine again I have a sense of loss, of deprivation but if it does not exist that all goes away.

I am sure I am not the only one Christina is singing too. Many people struggle with challenges in their life; money, relationships, sex , chocolate to hit on some of the big ones, but what if these things didn't exist or more specifically we were to act "as if" they did not exist. Definitely food for thought.

Back to the Balls...

2009-04-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

I talked a few days ago about the importance of knowing how many balls you can juggle consistently. Since then... I have been dropping balls all over the place. Some of them rolled across the living floor and went thump, thump, thump down the stairs, some of them rolled way in to the corner and joined the dust bunnies and some of them just lay smack bang in the middle of the living room floor. I always have one ball in the air, now I would like to add in the rest to see what is optimum or to explore if one ball is all I can juggle. Before we explore all that lets take away the mystery and identify the balls:

6:30 AM morning meditation
8:30 PM evening meditation
Transitional activity (5:30 PM from work to play time)
Marketing my upcoming events
Spinning 2-3 times per week (Mon, Wed, Sat)
Yoga/Pilates/Stretching 1 -2 times per week
Focusing on strategy 25 steps to expanding my biz
My group Momentum (teleconferences, newsletter, events)
Breaking Thru to Success - 90 day program (promoting and running)
Women's Success Circles - (promoting and running)
Personal foundation Sundays and regularly check in with progress
Speaking and booking speaking
Blogging
Systems for my biz
Business expenses and budgeting

15 balls and I am sure there are a few laying around I forgot. Out of all these balls which ones am I consistent with 90 % of the time?

Blogging

Hmmm... I think it is time to prioritize. What are the next three balls I would like to be consistent with in order of importance?

6:30 AM morning mediation
Transitional activity (5:30 PM from work to play time)
Spinning 2-3 times per week (Mon, Wed, Sat)

Steps to picking them up

Set alarm clock
Review work schedule and identify where it ends
Make a list of transitional activities
Plan B and C for optimum spinning schedule
Put out clothes the night before
Go to bed at 10 PM

I am also going to create a chart to track my juggling and review it daily.

If I Had a Magic Wand...

2009-04-08T08:07:00.000-07:00

I run a group called "Artistic Women Inspiring Artistic Women" and we meet once a month. It is an amazing group of women and the synergy and inspiration I get from every meeting is priceless. This month I have a wonderful lady coming who is a hypnotherapist, she is going to do a guided visualization with us and then a short one on one session with one of the participants. I am intrigued, although I know nothing about the area of hypnotherapy. Accessing the mind and the different areas of the mind, logical and creative, to me is extremely creative.

The last few days I have been pondering the question

"If I could wave a magic wand and have whatever I wanted around pure indulgence and red wine, what would I want?"

It is easy to answer what you want if we are talking about dinner or what to wear, well most of the time anyway. What kind of car we want or purchasing a home might take us a little longer to decide but it is a tangible thing that eventually we can clearly state and therefore find, or find something close to our specifications and choose to make some compromises. The intangibles, the things we cannot touch, taste or smell are a little trickier.

When I work with clients the first thing we do at the top of the call is define "What do you want to focus on today?" Sometimes we may spend almost the whole call exploring and answering this question while others the clients comes ready to answer it immediately. In life knowing what we want is key for us to attaining it. If we cannot wrap our arms, or at least our head around what we want how d0 we know where to find it? How do we know when we have found or attain it?

In my quest for pure indulgence is red wine part of the equation? If so in what capacity? I defiantly see the see-saw of wine and pure indulgence, it is a delicate balance. Too much red wine send the see-saw up in the air squishing pure indulgence. Does too much pure indulgence send the see-saw in the other direction squishing red wine? I think it does, but is that what I want?

If I had a magic wand and Melany the hypnotherapist could wave it what would I want?

Never to touch red wine again?
No more than two glasses at one time?
I might want to use the standard set in the clean sweep program of 2 glasses per week.
Not while watching TV
Only enjoying for it's own sake, being mindful and not doing anything at all while I enjoy it?
Only when I go out?
Never before 8:30 PM?

Or would my wish for the magic wand be around what I do want?

In bed by 10:30 PM
Meditate every night at 8 PM
Have a cup of herbal tea every night before I go to bed
Start my bedtime routine at 9 PM every night

The whole idea of getting what you want is a little scary too. By making a decision what might you miss out on? Do I truly never want to have a drink again and miss out on indulging at birthday celebrations or enjoy one glass of wine and a square of chocolate. If I never drink before 8:30 PM does that mean I never get to enjoy another champagne brunch? Actually I never have red wine at brunch so that option is looking a little more appealing. What this is all turning into now is a discussion around boundaries. What are my boundaries? Perhaps it is a combinations of wishes / boundaries that put together make the ideal situation. Maybe it's a combination of not before 8:30 PM and starting my bed time routine at 9:30 PM? The next question of course is does never mean never? If I cross that boundary what are the consequences, what situation would be OK to cross the boundaries?

A wonderful therapist I know describes boundaries as fences around our houses with a gate which we control, enabling us to let people in and out at our discretion. Perhaps in the case of addiction, did I really use that word! The problem is with the gate keeper.

One Ball Up, One Ball Down - Learning How to Juggle

2009-04-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

Again and again clients come to me with the same dilemma, how can I do it all. My response is how many balls can you juggle consistently? As I gathered my new ball of expanding my business I seemed to have picked up an old familiar hitch hiker, red wine.

Saturday night I indulged in two wonderful glasses of red wine and a square of dark chocolate. I had been busy de-cluttering the dogie area and feeling satisfied that it was spic and span I put on my new Tori Amos CD, lit some candles and enjoyed the indulgence of it all.

Sunday I had a wonderful day going to temple and then we did our big monthly shop requiring two shopping carts! With my need for full cupboards satiated and an abundance of food my dad arrived for dinner. I started out with the intention of water and perhaps some pomegranate juice but my will was weak and before I knew I was sitting chatting on the deck glass after glass of wine in hand.

Monday I launched a new Success Circle. 8 wonderful women showed up and the evening was a huge success. At 10 PM I arrived home with one glass of wine and a square of chocolate firmly in mind, by midnight I had a bottle of red under my belt.

My preoccupation with expanding my business and the energy involve, physically and mentally has caused me to drop my pure indulgence ball. Working on the menu, check in sheet, agenda etc has taken the space reserved for meditation, unwinding and reading, my new read wine. I have hardly picked up a book in 2 days!

Today I fully intend to pick up the ball. With all this reshuffling and chaos of Kirk being laid off I need the stability of schedule to anchor me once again. I am returning to the "ideal day" drawing board.

Designing you ideal day is a wonderful tool to discover new and rediscover old habits and routines. It's an opportunity to:

Dream a little, don't restrict yourself with time, money or any of the commitments you have right now.
Create an ideal schedule full of things that make your mouth water, that enthuse you and give you life.
Then after you have given yourself free reign take some time to picture yourself and visualize yourself enjoying your new schedule.
It's great to post it or put it up in a prominent place as a reminder where you are heading.
Then begin to bring in little pieces of your ideal schedule into today.
At first it may be a 5 minute walk instead of a 90 minute hike every day.

You may have to make some compromises but use challenges as a stimulus to be creative and come up with creative ways to bring the essence of your ideal schedule into you life now. If you long for a chauffeur and a limousine to take you to your appointments perhaps while you are waiting for the abundance to arrive you could utilize a different kind of chauffeur a bus or the train. Get to the bottom of what you are looking for, in the above situation the important factor may be that you don't want to drive not that you want to travel in style. What you will undoubtedly find is that it is the little things that mean the most to us, that feed us. There may be some high ticket items involved but the things with staying power tend to the little things, champagne and caviar get old after a while but moms apple pie never does.

The Smell of Change

2009-04-04T08:23:00.000-07:00

Hmm the smell of change is in the air as I embrace the moving of my cheese. I am on day 35 of my 100 day challenge and am enjoying immensely the fruits of my indulgent work. I am still blown away when I turn around to survey the road built from the last 35 days; if I squint I can vaguely see in the distance the red wine bottle left by the roadside, forgotten. I am not however spending a lot of time looking back especially in light of the recent moving of the cheese.

After Kirk's lay off from work I decided to thrown another ball into the mix; to expand my business and support our family. I am extremely lucky to have at my fingertips resources for almost everything you could imagine. I dug into these looking for a strategy to expand my business and came up with "25 Steps to Filling Your Practice" courtesy of Thomas Leonard and coachville. So I will be using this as my anchor as I focus on expansion over the next 65 days.

Step 1: Get your clean sweep score above 75

Clean sweep is a great way to take a snap shot of your life. It is comprised of 100 true/false questions which address money, home environment, physical well being and every area of your life. It had been a while since I had taken the clean sweep and I was extremely pleased to see an increase in my score but I am still below 75. So I reviewed the questions and came up with 14 things I coud do which would bring me well over 75.

Car - oil change, check-up, clean and vacuum and set up a system to do so on a regular basis.
Clean and organize the laundry room.
One last sweep of my closet removing any items I don't wear, don't fit or need fixing and set up a clothes swap with my friends.
De-clutter guest room and post items on freecycle.org
Get a new toaster.
Set up an ironing station.
Fine tune office and add inspiring quotes, cork board in coaching area and create client progress sheets.
Shop for and install new shelving in Sofie's room.
Floss daily.
Save 10% of income.
Co-create a financial independence plan with Kirk.
Be mindful of gossiping and talking about others.
Review my wants and needs and the needless program.
Clean and organize dogie area.
Buy a really good pair of sun glasses.

A lot of you are probably wondering what all this has to do with expanding my business, having a solid personal foundation is essential for growth. I have been diligently working on mine for the last 2 years and am noticing all the wonderful benefits. By taking care of and getting your personal life in order you free up your time, money and energy to focus on moving forward or simply enjoying what you have.

Step 2: Make a list of 25 people you know and write 3 things you want for each of them.

I have made my list of 25 people and this weekend will be exploring what I want for each of them.

How will this new ball fit into the challenge?

Every night I will review the 25 steps and schedule activities for the next day around the steps. I will also do the same thing over the weekend to springboard me into next week.

Now the smell of change smells like bacon and even being a vegetarian I can appreciate and enjoy that wonderful aroma. Out house is full of love, warmth and we are extremely comfortable, I have an amazing husband and am thankful for the wonderful things in my life.

Coming Out of the Cocoon

2009-04-01T07:36:00.000-07:00

The Cult plays in the background, it popped up on my ipod screaming to be played when I plugged it in this morning. When I listen to it the first thing that comes to mind is boy have I come a long way. 18 seems so far behind be, how appropriate a thought as I am in the process of shedding yet another skin and spreading my wings again. Revived, renewed and seriously excited about the next level I stood on my branch yesterday ready to fly when...

I got a huge nudge. Kirk got laid off yesterday, I knew it was coming, I was expecting it but not in a doom and gloom where screwed he's going to lose his job way. Instead in an excited, secret, it's time for me to expand my business sense. So now a kind of fear and guilt is lurking in the background. The universe is standing hands on hips, "OK you asked for it, here it is!".

So where does this leave me with my challenge? It is time to up the game. As the end of this month scatters behind me my stride has widened, my feet are firmly on the ground and it is time to throw another ball in the air. I feel extremely confident that indulgence is tucked tightly but I will not say firmly under my belt and last night I explored some of the tools available to me to expand my coaching business. I truly believe I needed this extra shove of the branch. I remember standing at the top of one of those never ending slides at the water park looking down terrified. The slide was so steep it dipped in and you literally flew down with the water, taking off can be scary but unlike getting in the water you cannot do it slowly inch by inch. Taking off requires system checks, a deep breathe, a big hard run giving it all that you got, throwing yourself off the cliff and then just relaxing and catching air, trusting all the time that all will be well. It is time for me to trust in the words "jump and the net will appear". Whew!

Now don't get me wrong, Zen has not gone by the roadside. Taking on this task without turning to my old friend red wine will be a wonderful test of my newly built foundation. I relish the challenge and today will focus on checking all my systems to make sure they are running perfectly ready for take-off. If you are a long for the ride get ride to fly first class.

Potpouri

2009-03-30T07:47:00.000-07:00

I am definitely feeling in the zen zone. After a wonderful Saturday in Santa Barbara I feel the currents of life and am enjoying the flow. For the first time ever I stopped work on Friday and still have not checked my email, I intend to begin work after I finish blogging. It feels fabulous. I am excited about work but the clean separation kept me present with family and relaxation over the weekend. I think reading is the new red wine, who would have thought! I finished the Wayne Dyer book in four days, just in time as the next one "Your Erroneous Zones" arrived in the mail. Until I started reading it every time I scanned the title I thought it said erogenous zones, a whole different thing entirely. I dealt with several things I had been putting up with yesterday afternoon including purchasing a new couch cover that, fingers crossed, does not come off when you sit on it. I am truly clearing the physical and mental clutter out of my life and really understand the relationship between the two. By clearing the mental clutter and tapping into what is truly important to me I am able to let a lot of clutter go. I am realizing that lots of the pieces of paper I was clinging too are unnecessary and in doing so I am finding the true jewels that were lost, I couldn't see the woods for all the tree's. I am feeling rested from my growth spurt and excited as the future unravels. I am looking forward to a wonderful week.

The Rhythm of My Conciousness

2009-03-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

Every so often my daughter Sofie has a growth spurt. When she is in this mode I cannot give her enough food to satiate her incredible and unusual appetite. At first my husband will look at each other in awe at the depth of her appetite and then the penny drops and we realize, it's another growth spurt.

The last few days I have not been able to get enough sleep, I have been drawn to taking care of myself and resting. I am having a growth spurt. In adults growth spurts don't happen as often so it's easy to forget the signs. All of the wonderful work I have been doing on my quest for pure indulgence, all the inner exploration, meditation and learning has taken a lot out of my physical self and it's time for me to replenish and renew. I do not doubt for a second that if I had not been listening to my body I would be typing this with a sniffle or a cough or some kind of infection brought on by not taking care of myself. This is the first time I have acknowledged the energy it takes for spiritual and mental growth. Thanks to that I feel fabulous. My whole body tingles with aliveness, the 90 minute hike I went on yesterday has woken up my muscles and they are singing and my liver is enjoying a break from removing the red wine toxins from my body.

It is day 28 of the challenge and what I am aware of today are the cycles of life; of course some are more obvious than others. By focusing on pure indulgence and being present and conscious in my life I can sense the subtle ebb and flow of the change of the seasons within my body. Lots of things run in 4 week cycles; menstrual cycles and pay periods are the two most obvious that come to mind. Now I am curious about the phases in my cycle so far on my quest for pure indulgence.

Phase 1: Days 1 - 7 - Beginning - Physical Manifestation - Ecstasy, increased energy, commitment, a feeling of being incredibly grounded and a strong sense of routine.
Phase 2: Days 8 - 14 - Honeymoon is over! - Physical Manifestation - Feel like the carpet has been pulled out from under me, hard to gain footing, struggling to stick to routines.
Phase 3: Days 15 - 21 Curiosity -Physical Manifestation - Strong curiosity, a desire to get back to phase 1, beginning to get back into a sense of routine, lots of inner exploration of what drives and motivates my behaviours as well as re-connecting with my core values and my true self.
Phase 4: Days 22 - 28 - Heightened Awareness & Renewal - Sense of routine, tierd, need to take care of myself, enjoying the fruits of my new awareness and bringing it into my life.

It is amazing to zoom back and look at the big picture like this. I must admit this is something I have never done before. I'm excited about the perfect order of things. I'm also extremely excited in anticipation of re entering phase 1. This will be an interesting experiment to track and see if my journey continues to follow the same cycles.

The Peace of Purpose

2009-03-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

As I continue on my journey of indulgence more and more I am reminded that it is the small, often no cost or low cost things that provide the most consistent indulgence for me.

For years my love of reading has been squashed by my busy life. I would sneak in a few moments here and there but my passion for it wained the more I neglected it; like a plant deprived of light and substance. During this challenge my love of reading is reborn. This did not happen immediately but now after a few days of pure indulgence I am enjoying the peace, calm and feeling of pure indulgence that reading gives me.

Last night I sat on the couch like a cat stretching and sighing in ecstasy a deep smile of contentment on my face as I read. Yesterday tension had began to build up in me and a desire for the quick indulgence of red wine began to bounce around my mind early in the evening. Instead I made a conscious choice to satiate myself in other ways first. I ate, drank some water, created a calm environment and meditated and then went upstairs and read. The minute I picked up my book and settled into the couch a calmness and peace settled into me. It was exactly the same feeling as the zen of red wine. Now isn't that interesting, red and read creating the same reaction!

Wayne Dyer speaks of the peace that comes when you are "on purpose". I interpret this to the peace of aligning with your core values, who you are and your unique talents and gifts. As I indulge I am indulging my core values, the true essence of who I am. One of my core values is peace and calmness and that value is acting as my gage of how I am doing. Now you may be wondering is red wine honoring my values, because as I just pointed out it also brings me peace and calmness but is that Zen? I believe the answer is yes and no. Another concept Dyer brings up is that we can never have 'enough" of what we don't want. I can have enough reading, I come to a place and I know I have enough or I become tiered and know that is enough. Red wine gives me a false sense of energy and does not satiate me. I never reach the point where I have had enough. This false sense of energy is limited and comes at a cost, I am borrowing Peter to pay Paul, Peter is the future. Borrowing from the future to pay for today. Reading on the other hand feeds and fuels me, the calmness it brings is mine I own it outright, it is not on loan from tomorrow. Now on the other hand if I have one glass of wine, feel satiated, enjoy it purely, not multi-tasking and not seeking intoxication, instead just apreciating it, then I am honoring my core values.

Elements of Pure Indulgences:

Honor who you are
You know when you have had enough - they satiate you
They fuel and feed beyond today - they build reserves
They work consistently
Are an experience all by themselves not a means to an end

The Indulgent Giant Begins to Lose it's Monopoly

2009-03-25T07:29:00.000-07:00

Every night as part of my 100 day challenge I am seeing what indulgences are in front of me and taking the time to indulge. Last night after hanging up the phone from the challenge check-in I stood up and opened my eyes to what indulgences lay around me. My eyes fell on the dining room table where a package lay address to me. All thoughts of red wine flew from my mind. I have been using a free service called paper back book swap, which I highly recommend (http://www.paperbackswap.com) and my latest book had I arrived. I have several books on route so I excitedly opened it, honestly not even able to remember what book I had ordered. Wayne Dyer's Real Magic, lay in my hands. I have just finished up a class on getting in touch with your vision, mission and purpose and this is one of the books recommended in the class.

With Sofie in bed and my husband tending to his aching back by indulging in a jacuzzi bath down stairs I settled down on the couch with the book. Every word, so far, resonated. I cannot wait to continue reading more. The book reminded me and reconnected me with my purpose and vision and well as laid out some wonderful tools I am excited to share with my clients.

Most importantly though it provided another nudge from the universe. A nudge to step up to the plate and be available, to be present and conscious. I think red wine is losing it's monopoly on indulgence. The clock is ticking as the competition moves in.

Finite Resources

2009-03-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful day I had yesterday. I connected (one of my core values) with some of the wonderful women in my life and get their opinion on a survey I had put together. It only took a few minutes but just that little connection kept my fuel tank full the whole day. By the end of the day I had connected with over 20 women and produced some great work. I had been diligent about taking a few short breaks, not really indulgences though. In fact in I were to be completely honest I knew I should take breaks but was eager to get back to work and hurried through them. At 5:30 PM Sofie came babbling home, art work in hand and I went upstairs but left my head downstairs, or someplace else, either way I was not present completely with my body. At 6:30 PM I couldn't stand it anymore and I went downstairs to finish my project, I was having a little light at the end of the tunnel syndrome (you can read all about that in one of my previous posts). After 30 minutes I turned off the computer and went upstairs, red wine in hand.

Time is finite, not elastic. We all of course think we can stretch it but it is the great equalizer, rich or poor we all get 24 hours each day. Other resources in our life are finite too. Not all in the same way as time. Energy for instance is something we either have or don't have. We create a pile of energy which we can replenish if we choose to but when it it gone it is gone, it is finite. I bring this up because yesterday when I cut short my breaks and hurried through them they did not serve their purpose, they did not stock pile my energy. What I am noticing is that when I use up all my energy during the day I make unhealthy, easy choices later in the day. All that productivity during the day translated into me not being completely present with my family in the evening. Part of this was also due to skipping my transition from work to personal time. I am now on day 24 of my 100 day challenge and part of the challenge is solidifying healthy routines in my life, to anchor me. When I make a conscious decision to transition by walking around the block with Sofie or playing with her dolls house with her or taking a shower I am then able to bring my whole body to the party and spend quality time with my family and enjoy my evening consciously. Instead when I push myself to the max, which I admit at times is necessary but long term is detrimental. After the big push I immediately grab the unconscious solution, red wine. As wonderful as re wine is, if I make the red wine and skip the rest of my replenishing nighttime routine (meditation, pampering myself, doing things I love and enjoying pure indulgence) then I am further depleting my energy rather than replenishing the pile.

There are different types of energy and everyone has different ones that are necessary for them to function optimumly. There is spiritual energy, creative energy and physical energy (the energy necessary to complete physical tasks) to name a few. Each type is replenished in a different way and in different ways for different people.

Building reserves in your life is also an excellent way to tap into your attracting factor. So by going beyond just creating enough energy and spending less than you accrue you will see more opportunities coming your way. I have been noticing that a lot recently as I have been simplifying and making room to grow.

When we honor our core values we create energy. Which is why when we are doing goals, projects or tasks that tie in with who we are, our core values, often it seems effortless. It also takes a lot of energy to be present, conscious and focused so we deplete our energy quickly without realizing when we are honoring our values. I'm sure you have experienced crash and burn after working on something you loved and then wondering where you got the energy.

So in my quest for pure indulgence (read past posts for defintion), which is now incidentaly not limited to the evening, I must be mindful of energy.

Raising the Bar of Indulgence

2009-03-21T07:16:00.001-07:00

In a wonderful indulgent evening last night I had a great discussion about feeling good. One of my core values is to feel good and pure indulgence makes me feel fabulous. Recently I am exploring how a one day retreat acted as a springboard into pure indulgence and feeling fabulous. I also think that one of other factors that made me feel good the first week of the challenge was that I raised the bar. I shared this with my husband and he brought up an excellent point. He stated that we only feel good when we are having a shift, when something is different. In his opinion if I wanted to feel good all the time not only would I have to take consistent action, that action would also have to intensify; either in length or in strength. His theory mirrors the idea of having to take more pain medication, alcohol or drugs to get the same effect if you do so on a regular consistent basis. "What about exercise ?", I challenged him, feeling smug. He stood by his previous statement backing it up by adding the idea that yes you can maintain your health by doing the same exercise everyday but in order to feel good you have to do more.

All of this when I stepped back made complete sense. Raising the bar is the same as doing more. So now the question is how far can I raise the bar without that itself becoming a "should" and losing it's feel good quality? Maybe there is a way around this, of course I want to raise the bar but it just feels wrong to make that a constant action, perhaps I could find a few different things that represent pure indulgence and make me feel good and sprinkle different ones into different days and approach each one fully conscious so that is is always a new experience.

All of this seems like a lot of talk and no action! But it is fun to explore. All this talk of raising the bar makes me think of boundaries and raising personal standards. We put boundaries and standards around our core values. When I felt good and raised the bar what core value or values were involved? Something to meditate on I think.

Another theme today seems to be that pure indulgence does not contain intoxicants. It is essential to be fully present, conscious to experience pure indulgence. This brings me back to a question I am also still contemplating. In Buddhism one of the precepts is not to become intoxicated and I have been contemplating where and when I am intoxicated. The precept is referring to intoxication from drugs, alcohol or negative situations but I wonder what the stance is for intoxicated situations, like feeling good. Perhaps the precept is addressing that too. For now I am going to focus on negative or unhealthy intoxication. There are times when I can have one glass of wine and feel intoxicated and other times when it takes several glasses, still other times I am so numb I don't feel the intoxication at all. What is the boundary around intoxication, where is the border for me? I think more contemplation is in order.

The Equation of Consistency

2009-03-20T07:26:00.000-07:00

Today I am curious about the equation for consistency. What makes the first mile so easy? I'm curious because the first week of the challenge flowed so beautifully, it felt amazing, the best I have ever felt at times and I want to be able to recreate that flow and feeling great. To do that I am first going to examine the facts of the first week:

It was new, it was different; I was shifting behaviour and habits that I had settled into over the last few years.
My meditation was consistent, 6:30 AM, 12:30 PM, 7:30 PM.
Felt well rested and easily got up feeling like I had enough sleep.
Right before I began I did a one day retreat
I had an amazing and productive month
The first week was the first week of the month
I facilitated a Success Circle the first day, lots of great energy
Started new classes for my continuing education
My nights were fairly free
I felt flexible physically
I was taking extremely good care of myself
Eating healthy and preparing and had available easy snacks

The overall theme seems to be of new beginning, self-care and great positive energy.

What are the facts about the last 7 - 10 days

Tired, clocks changed
Allergies flaring up
Not grounded felt like I was just being carried and thrown around, felt a little out of control
Off schedule, appointments had to be re-arranged
In the midst, towards end of month
No morning meditation
Going to be later
Drank more wine

The overall theme here seems to be depletion, sickness, lack of control and structure.

So where and when did things shift? With the facts laid out I can see that renewing myself is essential to that feeling of flow. Beginning the challenge with literally a bank account full to the brim from my one day retreat acted as a springboard for me, launching me into the challenge. The clock change seems to be the turning point and preparing for that shift by resting up and being aware of the changes it would mean in my life would have been extremely beneficial. I'm really seeing the benefit of renewing myself at the weekend. The key to my success in the challenge and in my life perhaps lies there. Even if I am home, having a renewing routine at the weekend would be a possibility. While at the retreat I thought it would be great to get a group of friends together and create a retreat each of us giving our special talent. I will be exploring the components of my weekend retreat, how can I fit it in, what is the optimum amount of time, how much is not enough as well as checking in to see the differnece it makes to my lfe. Awareness is the precursor to choice which is the precursor to change; I definetly see my awareness heigtening here and look forward to the shift.

Tending the Garden of Indulgence

2009-03-18T07:14:00.000-07:00

Day 17 of my 100 day challenge. To review, the first 7 - 9 days were amazing, I tapped into my natural flow and enjoyed my new routines. After the clocks changed everything was knocked out of whack and I floated around in turbulent waters for the next 7 days. The routine was washed away and I tried to swim back to shore, members of pure indulgence firm in my mind.

Today I reached the shore and managed to once again get up and meditate at 6:30 AM setting a strong foundation for my day. What the storm has taught me is that I like the calm waters. Pure indulgence is something I want and enjoy. Even in the choppy water that heightened sense of awareness kept me afloat.

One thing I am curious about from this experience is

how to tend my garden of indulgence?

In order for me to have the freedom that pure indulgence requires I need to have balance so that I can take care of the other things, the white noise, unfinished projects and shiny metal objects I desire. Creating order around these things I believe will give me a firmer foundation for my challenge. It seems that part of my challenge too then is to designate time to bring things to order is that I can have 100 nights of indulgence. I think one of my priorities this month will help me to create order...

Finishing unfinished projects.

This month I have been bringing my focus back to this priority and holding it in the forefront of my mind. Yesterday when I received a much desired new book in the mail, a shiny metal object glittered at me. I held strong a resisted the temptation to dig in and a wonderful idea blossomed in my mind. What if I used this to categorize and organize the white noise around me. Most clutter is simply a physical manifestation of a descion that needs to be made. What will this look like you ask? I'm picturing a sorting process for all the debris in my life all those things on a holding pattern circling the airport.

Sorting the Clutter

One basket, box or whatever you like for bright shiny objects - things you really want to do, start or enjoy right now.
One pile of things you have started subdivided perhaps into 1) Urgent things that need to be accomplished 2) Things you really want to finish 3) Things you don't want to do 4) Things that would take 2 minutes or less to complete 5) Things to throw away/abort/give away - come up with whatever works for you.

The beauty that seems apparent to me in this system is you are taking back control and forced to be honest about what all the stuff around you is. If you have all the shiny metal objects in perhaps a closed hamper, that you get to open and indulge in like a treasure chest when you choose, to it is much more empowering than being caught off gaurd in the middle of another tasks by the glint of a shiny metal object and thrown completely off course. If you wanted to take this a little further you could also explore why a certain object or task, such as facebook, has such a lure for you. What need is it satiating and then perhaps you could design helthy ways to feed that need. By categorizing you are also being honest about the things in Yuri life. Above all this process requires you be conscious about your life and the things in it, instead of leaving things to chance you are being proactive and take responsibility instead of reacting to things.

Maintaining the garden and clearing the weeds is an essential part of gardening. Simply eating the fruits of indulgence will quickly deplete my harvest. Today I will be putting on my gardening gloves, digging in and tending to the garden of indulgence so this evening I can have the freedom to indulge.

The Eb & Flow of Clutter

2009-03-16T08:28:00.000-07:00

Environment definitely plays a big part in my 100 day challenge. Pure indulgence requires a certain amount of staging and as pure indulgence washes it's way into the rest of my life I am brought back to my desk. To continue with the analogy of the ocean my desk seems to have an ebb and flow like the tide. I just reached down and I think there is actually some sand on it, probably moon sand, if you have small children you will know that doesn't mean I am an alien. Debris repeatedly shows up on my desk and seems to do so in a consistent manner. There are times at my desk when I feel completely in the flow, like during my morning routine when I write my blog, but there are other times when I feel like I am drowning as I look for a book or important phone number that has sunk to the depths.

As I work on my personal foundation I have been de-cluttering like a banshee. As with all of the personal foundation work, this too is a journey and the program is designed to hit things from lots of angles, to wear them down or sharpen them as the case may be, like the rocks that surround the coastline. I am literally reshaping and refining my life.

One of the lessons, getting clear of the past, is really resonating with me right now. It's as if I have unlocked a door and now suddenly all the old journals, cards and sentimental memorabilia are free to move out of my life. Perhaps it is because I have a clearer sense of my self, a stronger understanding about who I am, what's important and my core values. My new rule, in with the new out with the old, is a piece of cake to enforce. Boxes of clutter almost line up automatically at the door ready for the next phase of their journey. This is freeing up room to grow in my life...

but not on my desk!

Recently I have taken too removing the debris from my desk and placing it in boxes to enable me peace and tranquility to work. To restore order in a quick manner. Because of this I became aware of the eb and flow of my desk. More stuff just keeps showing up! It is a wonderful physical example that until you deal with something completely it will continue to wash up on the shore of your life.

So what is all this debris?

Business cards and contact info of new people I meet
Receipts and bills that need filing
Notes I take
Plans for the future
Computer programs
Resources I pull to work on or quote
Resources I print from emails sent to me
Flyer's and marketing materials I have or am creating
Books I am reading
Invitations and events that I am considering attending
To-do lists and more notes

Now I could focus on creating systems to handle all of this paper in my life and that is an important part of the process but first it is important to look at the common theme. Unfinished projects, thoughts, responses to lots of different things or coming to the mecca of my desk, just like all the phones in my house and my husband is betting that the six pairs of glasses I spread around the house will too.

Each month in the Success Circles I facilitate, you can find out how to join one at www.motivatemyself.com, I set 3 priorities for the month, to focus on. This month one of those priorities is finishing unfinished projects.

So before I work on clearing the debris there are a few key questions I need to contemplate:

Where is it coming from?
Why is it on my desk?
How can I handle it so that it does not come back for at least 5 years?
Why is this process working for me right now? What benefit do I get out of it?
What do I need to change to move forward on this?

By answering these questions I can see that putting everything on my desk allows me to have the calmness, order and peace in other areas of the house and my life. My car also seems to collect clutter but I think by handling my desk I can eliminate the clutter in that area of my life as well.

Each of our values has a ying and a yang to it. The pendulum can swing in both directions and the value at the route of this clutter for me is creativity. I am extremely lucky to have a wonderful ability and joy in creating but like the porridge pot that would not stop making porridge it can overflow into my life and cause a breakdown if swung too far. In order to stop the debris washing up on my shore I need to control the amount I create and to have space to work on the things I do create.

Seeing something through to the end and handling it right away is the mantra I will keep in mind. This will not be a fast process but in experimenting with this mind shift I will then impact my life in many more ways than if I just sat down and created systems to control the clutter. Getting to the root of the behaviour, habit or belife is what coaching is all about. It enables you to make huge shifts rather than small short term victories in you life. It is truly an investment I hope you have the pleasure to enjoy.

Indulgent Enviroment

2009-03-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

On my journey of pure indulgence I am noticing that when I indulge I get a wonderful warm and fuzzy feeling because at the same time I am honoring some of my core values. In short I am being who I am, who I am meant to be, being my true self and living my true life and to tie in with my theme for the year, creating and walking on my own unique path. That wasn't really short was it!

One of the components of my true, authentic self is a strong need and love of peace and calmness. Each time I purely indulge this wonderful feeling of calmness comes along for the ride and trickles down into my soul. It is delicious, I highly recommend it.

Yesterday I had a strong want. I wanted to have my hair cut. But my hairdresser was not working. Unwilling to risk it with someone else I had no choice but to move on. A whole morning opened up and as I sat on my couch relaxing and sipping on a hot cup of coffee an indulgent idea arose. My in-laws and nephew were visiting and while they sat in the living room I began pushing the couch across the dining room. Used to my unusual behaviour they paid no mind to me. I unplugged the phone from the desk in the corner freeing the desk and a few pieces of fluff and then escorted the desk to the far side of the dining room. Thus opening up the perfect little piece of real estate to park the couch which had been hovering in the middle of the dining room like a car waiting for a parking space to open up. It slid perfectly into place. I sit down on it to truly test the positioning. "And look the phones in a handy spot" my mother-in-law announced looking on with a smile. I have two phones and the one that was mounted to the wall by the desk now sits in that same spot next to the arm of the couch. Happy with the positioning I surveyed the rest of the jigsaw. I moved the desk around the room trying to find it's home and then bingo, in the living room by the stand-in armchair (that's a whole story on it's own). Perfect. Sofie ran through the dining room giggling and melted into my lap in a chatter of non sensicalness. She stopped and declared "the couch was over there now it's here" Yes I said with deep satisfaction. The rest of the clan filtered into the dining room for breakfast. Kirk brought our fresh waffles and Sofie piled on the powered sugar. The smell of bacon and waffles filled the house with love and satisfaction. Kirk's dad said "ahh you moved the couch"; "hmm" Kirk snorted I bet you in won't last three weeks".

So maybe I like to move my furniture around but if you've never tried it you really should. I feel like every time I do this I am getting closer to completing the jigsaw of life. Mentally and physically life is like a jigsaw to me, I don't' doubt that this puzzle is possible it's just a question of putting the pieces together.

Later that night when we got home for Kirk's birthday dinner and a wonderful trip to the aquarium which filled my creative well to overflow I sat on the couch with a nice glass of... yes you guessed it red wine. I lit candles, dimmed the lights put on The Indigo Girls and indulged. I love that there is no TV in this room. I love that I can be close to the people I love and have peace and calmness while they watch TV. My new corner couch makes me want to read, it makes me want to relax and it stimulates me to indulge. Just sitting on it gives me the warm fuzzy calm feeling. It is a physical reminder right in the corner of my life.

Environment stimulates you, it can make you happy, sad, lethargic or energized and action orientated. When something is out of place in your life, physically, mentally or spiritually, you feel off, out of integrity. When you have things in place you have a wonderful feeling of flow. I will be focusing on indulgent environment this week, hey maybe even a little Fung Shui, as indulgence trickles out of my evenings and splashes on my mornings, lunchtimes and everything in between.

Why not live conciously?

2009-03-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

Indulgence for me is a way of living, something you do, a way of approaching life. By living consciously and bringing all my five senses to the party I can and have achieved this.

So why do I not live consciously 24/7?

Living consciously is such a hot topic right now, Eckert Tolle and other thinkers of our time have most definitely raised awareness and understanding of this. But still many of us spend hours after hours doing exactly the opposite. Today I want to explore the pull of unconscious living to gain a firmer grasp of it and to propel me on my challenge of 100 nights of pure indulgence.

Benefits of Unconscious Living

I started the bullets above and then have no answers. If that's true then why are we all riding the conscious wave 24/7? Maybe a better question to ask is...

Excuses That Enable us to Continue to Live Unconsciously

It takes too much energy, I'm tierd, I'll do it tomorrow
I deserve this _______ (fill in blank with favorite candy bar, drink...)
What's the point? It will take forever for me to get out of debt, thin, rich... Life sucks.
This isn't the right time I have family in town/sick spouse/it's my birthday/a busy week at work
My house is full of clutter, I can't meditate

Fueling these excuses are messages that we are sending ourselves saying "if I live consciously I have to sacrifice something I love", "there is no light at the end of the tunnel, this is hopeless" as well as frustration, desperation, sadness and perhaps depression about our current situation. We build the argument for unconscious living by creating an attainable to-do list of things that have to be done for us to live consciously; I have to clean the whole house, be 30 lbs lighter, be making more money or perhaps finish a big project at work. With this argument in mind it is then easy for our minds to rule on the side of unconscious living.

So how do we sway the argument so that concious winning win?

We need to understand and keep in mind that living conciously is:

Energizing
Easy
A delicious treat
A way to make a hugh impact in our lives - one moment at a time
The road to riches and well being
Takes either the same amount of time or less than living unconciously
Is possible anytime
Enhances our experiences (birthdays, trips with family...)
Empowers us to take positive actions and get things done

A lot of the unconscious hours we log are done because of habit and routine. At 6:30 PM we slip into an evening routine of dinner in front of the TV or computer , snickers bars, a bottle of wine and before we know it's 11 PM. That's over 4 hours that are gone forever, none of which was particularly memorable.

Our surroundings, our environment, also play a big part in whether or not we are present and conscious in our lives. A cluttered desk stimulates hundreds of negative messages in our brains; "I should have paid that bill", "I'm a slob" or "I have so much work to do". All of these messages send us flying into the past and the future.

Do positive thoughts ground us in the present?

Any pendulum can swing either way. Sitting thinking how wonderful we are could send us into unconsciousness too. So what is a positive thought? Perhaps we should focus more on neutral thinking. Thinking that neither deflates or inflates the ego. A high five with a co-worker of a job well done sparks a connection with someone else, a sharing of our journey, human interaction. Day dreaming about the yacht we are going to buy when our get rich quick scheme takes off or cowering with shame and guilt over the huge piece of chocolate cake we ate last night yield no connection outside of ourselves and send us off into the future or the past.

Criteria for Conscious Living

Neutral thoughts
Connection outside of ourselves
Focus on the present moment (not living in the past or future)
Understanding that there is no sacrifice involve, seeing and reminding ourselves why living consciously is a treat

Ultimately we have complete control of our thoughts at first it will be a struggle but keep in mind neutral thoughts are just a muscle we need to flex.

Pure Indulgence

2009-03-13T09:18:00.000-07:00

Indulgence...
to indulge...

The word definitely rides both the ying and yang side of the fence.

Over indulgences...

Addiction, obsession, bloated, fat, lethargic, unconscious. A battle between too much and not enough.

Pure indulgence...

Conscious, small, special, revered, a tiny square of dark chocolate slowly eaten on the deck with all my senses alive. Ears, eyes, nose, skin and taste open. Your senses are alive. No distractions. There is a calmness to this type of indulgence, no rush. You don't just squeeze it in, part of the indulgence is that time stands still, it is unimportant while you are partaking in the indulgence. To be purely indulgent you are honoring and respecting everything around you. Treating everything and everyone delicately with the wonder and care of a baby bird. Protecting it. Nothing else is important at the moment of indulgence. There is no guilt, no to-do list running through your head just the present.

With this in mind anything can be indulgent. Following my definition, to be purely indulgent is not what you are doing it is the way you approach what you are doing and the way you do it. A conversation could be purely indulgent a bike ride or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. For me this makes it more attainable. It is more of a way of living consciously. By focusing on 100 nights of pure indulgence I can build my muscle slowly. Be mindful and focused, slow down and honor one thing each night until gradually what I focused on expands into my whole life. A whole life of pure indulgence.

Lusting After the Light at the End of the Tunnel

2009-03-12T08:05:00.000-07:00

Rome wasn't built in a day...or even 10 days. Yesterday, day 10 of the challenge, I indulged in work, I know it sounds a little crazy, but I love working on my website, newletter, writing articles and creating printed materials; when I'm in the midst of it it is like I am in the middle of a dance flowing from move to move. It can become addictive for me too and keeping things balanced is the purpose of my 100 day challenge.

What I love about the 100 day challenge is that it truly is a win, win situation. Usually when we are trying to shift a habit or stick to a New Years Resolution we take what I call the "white knuckle approach", we suffer through it. The mind set of this challenge and of the 60 day challenge in my program "Breaking Thru Your Invisible Barrier to Success" is that if you fall off the horse, you just get back on, there are no ramifications, no points lost. I even take it one step further and treat falling off the horse with joy. If we are truly experimenting then we need all kinds of data to figure out what makes us tick. I firmly believe for most people that falling off the horse a few times, especially in the first 30 days is a key to your success.

I know you are asking well how is that any different than messing up in my day to day life and not completing what I set out to do? The big difference is being aware. In a challenge you already have a heightened awareness around whatever it is you are focusing on. Instead of sitting typing away, transfixed on the computer screen completely absorbed, yesterday my awareness kept checking in. "It's about time to stop, now" "You are obsessing" "It's time to meditate". Simply being aware that what you are doing is not what you WANT to be doing is huge. Awareness is the precursor to choice. From a place of choice we can take conscious action
and take back control of our lives. Even if the choice is to continue doing what we are doing, it is coming from a conscious place of choice rather than an unconscious place of reaction, habit and possibly addiction.

When you fall off the horse explore why, how and what.

Why are you doing what you are doing?
How did you shift gears and resume old behaviour, habits, and routines? (Show me the evidence).
What was the trigger?

Yesterday my "Why" was trying to reach the elusive light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sure this will sound familiar to some of you; "If I could just finish....then I will have everything done/be complete/not need to do anything more...". Thus Rome was not built in a day. I realized a few months ago, there is no light at the end of the tunnel, there are just corners in the tunnel, twists and turns. Every time you think you reach the end, it's just a corner and when you turn it there is the light again dancing away in the distance laughing lat you ike the ginger bread boy "you can't catch me". I had shifted gears away from that mentally and was really beginning to grasp one of the principles of attraction "Perfect the Present". Yesterday was a reminder that I have not yet fully learnt that lesson.

How did I shift into this mode, what actions and behaviour told me I was functioning using my old, outdated operating system?

I had trouble concentrating on anything else.
When Sofie spoke to I wasn't present with her
I ate at the computer
I choose not to meditate
I was following a to-do list with no end point instead of focusing on my priorities
When I left the computer I couldn't wait to get back
Overall I felt out of intergrity - my body knows!

What triggered this behaviour? Part of it is an adjustment to the time change which has thrown off, what I thought was a solid morning routine but the real trigger was excitement about all the possibilities. I completed the 7 Step Marketing Plan that I designed and used it to create a marketing plan. It illuminated and uncovered so many possible actions I was giddy with excitement. Trying to act on them all at once was where I began to spiral down. I saw completing the plan as the light at the end of the tunnel, instead of what it is, a stepping stone on my journey as I forge my own path.

So here we are back to my theme for the year "forging my own path". When I start looking too far ahead with reckless abandon and desire it takes me away from the present which is where my true success lies, right here, right now.

I completed a lot of things yesterday but at the cost of tight shoulders, self care, time with Sofie and Kirk and who knows what opportunities I missed because I had my blinders on.

But still, even with this, yesterday was a WIN. It was a win because I am aware, because I have recalibrated and am back in the present, conscious right now. I have anchors which I put in place at the beginning of the challenge to hold my focus, my support call, this blog, meditaion and healthy postive routines. Because this morning I got up and meditated and tonight at 5:30 PM I will switch off the computer and enjoy an evening of Artistic Women at my house, completely present and open to all the wonderful oppertunities that are availble to me right now if I just open my eyes.

Pure Love

2009-03-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

Love. When I think of the word love the first thing that pops into my mind is a Sylvia Plath poem which I memorized and recited in drama school. I bet you weren't expecting to hear love and Sylvia Plath in the same sentence. The line that pops up automatically is

"Love set you going like a fat gold watch"

It's amazing the journey I have gone on with this poem, each time I re-visit it another layer of the onion reveals yet more depth. I am thinking about love today because it is my husbands birthday and when I think of him I think of pure love. It is the gift he gives me each and every day and for his birthday I wanted to let him know how much that gift means to me.

The first time I read the poem I was an eager 17 year old drama student. My partner was Ace Bhati, whom I just reconnected with on face book. Between us we performed the poem taking on the very alien roles of mother and father. If I recall correctly I held a fake baby aka doll in my arms as a prop. I was a big fan of Sylvia Plath at the time and was excited when we were handed the poem as our assignment. This was a whole different side of Sylvia Plath from the one I had been indulging in late at night, amidst candles with Bauhaus playing in the background in the self imposed exile of my bedroom in Radcliffe-On-Trent, Nottingham, England. As Ace and I performed the poem, the words and I felt separate. I had little connection or understanding of what Sylvia Plath was expressing within the poem.

The poem traveled with my to America and was packed in and out of boxes until in 2003 it along with my husband and I found it's home, our first house and what I believe will be our home for a very long time. When our daughter Sofie was born I wanted to have a celebration and decided to have a welcome to the world party. The monks that had performed our wedding ceremony came and blessed our house and new child. During the ceremony I stood up and once again recited the words of Sylvia Plath but without Ace this time. The meaning was completely evident now. I struggled to hold back tears as the emotion tumbled over me. The awe of my new born baby still fresh in my mind and right in front of me.

Today here I am with Sylvia again. As I began writing this today and the reference to the poem popped up I thought it would be a simple one line reference a segue into something more but it seems to have taken on a life of it's own. Looking at the words, once again with fresh eyes I uncover something else.

"Love set you going like a fat gold watch"

You my love set me going, just like that fat gold watch and the wonderful child we are raising together. You nurtured me, adored me, looked after me, encouraged me, held me...

you brought me back to life like a blast from the electric paddles, completely unexpected.

Thank you for the gift you give me every day. The gift worth more than a million valentine cards and thousands of boxes of chocolates or red roses that will wilt and die.

I love you, happy birthday.

Indulging in Vision

2009-03-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

After riding a wonderful wave of indulgence...

yesterday was quite turbulent. My daughter was sent home with suspected pink eye and my whole work day had to be switched around. I already had a doctors appointment and so after picking her up needed to go to that before we could deal with her pink eye. She was happily chattering in the back seat and singing happy birthday to me until she realized we were going to my Dr. Trying to get her doctors visit in motion I pulled over and dug into my purse looking for my husbands cell to get the Dr's number to make an appointment and my glasses. My blood pressure began rising, I couldn't find his number, I couldn't see anything on the phone as I scrolled through the phone log to try to find his number while at the same time Sofie snapped and started screaming I want to go to my Dr. first. Ahhhhhh.

After several more moments like that and several hours of driving around we arrived home and I handed over my parenting responsibility to Kirk. Sofie did not have pink eye.

The day had been like waves of frustration pounding on my and retreating and I had not had a day like that in a very long time. I was however amazed at my impulses at the end of the day. My old self would have reached for the glass of wine while I hung up my keys but although the thought entered my head it was quickly rejected almost like a bad taste in my mouth. Instead I embraced sustenance, I get cranky when I'm hungry, and then eagerly headed downstairs to listen to a pod-cast. Beginning to feel renewed I climbed the stairs and kissed Sofie good night and headed out to the drug store to pick up my prescription. I am much more proactive now. This has been a shift I began noticing a few months ago. I stopped operating as if someone would take care of it (my mother, Kirk) - the dirty dish I put down, filling the gas tank etc and it seems with renewed energy I began handling things then and there and they happened.

In the past after drinking a few glasses of wine I would have persuaded Kirk to go pick up my prescription while I "relaxed" and drank some more wine after a tough day. Instead I was in the car on my way to the drug store and actually energized, relaxed and dare I say looking forward to it. Right before I made the left turn towards the store I realized I was approaching a trip to the drug store as... an indulgence.

I parked in a far corner of the parking lot and enjoyed each luxurious step as I felt the ground beneath my feet, massaging my soul. As the doors automatically parted for me like the red sea I pondered the possibilities excitedly. While picking up my prescription I noticed one of those magnifying glasses with a led light, ummm vanity or functionality? Functionality won out and then as I waited for the pharmacist I stepped over to the reading glass rack and purposefully grabbed a three pack of the strength above the ones I usually wear. Meeting the pharmacist back at the register I added the glasses to my purchases and while she was ringing them up she uttered the wonderful words, grab another pack, the glasses are two for one. I did not need to be told twice. An assorted pack of herbal tea and some b-complex later I was home. I had happily distributed the glasses all over my life. I wonder if like the six phones we own they will all end up at Mecca on my desk. But for right now I can see. I could see to program Kirk's number in my phone and to make it one touch dialing. Now after I print a copy of all my phone numbers and put them in the car and added all our doctors numbers I will feel complete.

Building a reserve is a wonderful way to feel in control and to eliminate the feeling of scarcity that can send us in a downward spiral. I am amazed that after only seven days of indulgence my medicine of choice has shifted. Wow. The learning and the journey continue.

Week One Review

2009-03-09T08:48:00.001-07:00

I have to say I feel amazing. I am more in touch with my values and my extreme self-care is going through the roof, not to mention the deepening of my spiritual practice. And that's after 7 days of thc challenge. What I think I am going to do here is approached this weekly check-in the same way I do with my clients and my coach does with me; I am going to use my weekly call prep form.

What have I accomplished in the last week?

Spent quality time with Sofie everyday.
Pampered myself like crazy.
Had quiet, alone time each day to meditate, stretch, relax and reflect.
Indulged myself in healthy, positive ways. Wrapping gifts, taking spa bath with Sofie, shopping on-line, re-discovered vibrating foot massage and meditation book, exploring my finances and realizing I am well on track to making more money in the first quarter of this year than I did the whole of last year, having fun with Kirk and exploring and eliminating clutter from my life.
Developed new habit of transitioning from work to personal life without using quick fix, red wine.
Continued purging, simplifying and de-cluttering. But it has been a lot easier because I am ready to get clear of the past (personal foundation lesson) and focus on the present even more.
Writing like crazy and loving it. I am just opening myself and my awareness up to receive the rain-drops.
Making room to grow which means I can then act on things immediately. This is enabling me to stop putting up and putting off things. In other words I have stopped adding things to my to-do list, I am beginning instead to just do them, now.
Taking the time to myself each day is allowing me to be present in my life more.
Organized my i-pod and enjoyed listening to it.
Read more.
Meditated 2 - 3 times every day.

What I didn't get done, but intended too?

Nothing, simply because I am using the my theme for 2009 as my guide and have no intentions. I am simply being present and open for whatever present itself.

The challenges and problems I am facing right now?

The bond between TV and red wine.
Making exercise a priority and scheduling it ahead of time.

The opportunities which are available to me right now?

93 evenings laying ahead of me ready for indulgence.
My resources as a coach (personal foundation program, extreme self-care program, attraction program, countless books, programs and continuing education).
My writing as a tool for exploration and growth.

The two best moments of my week?

Singing and dancing with Sofie behind the wheel of the car, with her on my lap in the parking lot (don't worry we were parked).
Giving myself permission to do whatever I wanted and listening to my body with no constraints of time or "the way you are supposed to do things" as I meditated, relaxed and stretched for 60 indulgent minutes and felt AMAZING and satiated - no red wine necessary.

What I promise to do by the next call?

Over the next 7 nights of indulgence I promise to:

Be open to different ways of doing things and listen to my body and my internal voice as a guide.
Continue to give myself this wonderful gift each evening with no constraints.
Acknowledge the thoughts that take me to the future and drag me to the past and then let them go. In other words allow them space to be heard so that they can then diminish and disappear leaving me with the present moment.
Share the rain-drops and this journey on my blog.
Be open, aware and present to my path as it presents itself and then forging forward by exploring each step and strengthening my foundation.

Dissecting & Honoring Your Core Values

2009-03-07T07:13:00.000-08:00

Doing the 100 Day Challenge is a wonderful opportunity to explore and dissect my core values.
Core values are the things that make you, you. They represent what is important to you. When we feel out of integrity it is because one or more of our core values are being violated or compromised. To protect ourselves and to keep in integrity we put boundaries around our core values and the immediate result of setting clear boundaries is that we raise our standards. If you are working hard towards a goal or intention and not getting anywhere or moving forward really slowly it is probably because the goal or intention is in conflict with your one or more of your core values.

One of my core values is - to feel good and my 100 day challenge is all about that. What I am finding from focusing on my 100 day challenge is that I am experimenting and raising my awareness of exactly how to honor my core values. It's forcing me to get granular and that is always a good thing.

My Feeling Good Index

That just showered feeling, which incidentally lingers the next morning when I shower the night before. My skin feels alive and my feet tingle.
Smooth shaved legs.
Relaxation - my new drug of choice. This also satiates my need and value - peace and calmness.
Stretching and listening to my body - especially that spot at the base of my spine.
An abundance of time.
Laying under a tree on the grass in sprinklings of sunlight.

Once I started getting specific around this I realized that I could create a matrix for each value which would enable me to track both the ying and yang of each of my core values. One way for you to do this would be to create to lists for yourself "How I Honor My Value" and "How I Dishonor My Value". The beauty of this dissection for my is that once I get granular about how to honor my values then I can be very clear and specific as I create boundaries and set standards around them. As always being specific also enables you to wrap your arms around something tangible that you can move towards, or away from (things that dishonor your values). It's a lot easier to spend more time stretching, doing relaxation and laying under a tree than to simply state I am going to spend more time "feeling good". The wonderful result is that when you clearly state what you want more of it inspires you to take action. Which is really important because all the planning, exploration and work on your personal and professional development means nothing without action. Action solidifies it and truly brings gratification bringing us to that wonderful place of flow in our lives.

Pure Indulgence (Day 4)

2009-03-06T07:11:00.000-08:00

Last night (night 4 of indulgence) I had the most indulgent...

I'm not even sure what it was; part meditation, part relaxation, part stretching - all with no constraints on time or execution. I was lead by a book I re-discovered yesterday "Meditation Made Easy". The book stressed the idea of meditation being an indulgence not a regimented part of a routine or a should. It embraced the idea of ease into the meditation and going through several stages and enjoying each of them. So with that in mind last night I prepared the environment laying out my dense lion blanket on the ground, lighting candles, making the bed and dimming the lights, all while listening to my support call.

To backtrack I had a work day that ended at 8 PM and although I had transitioned when Sofie came home with a wonderfully indulgent work around the block with her on her pink, princess bike and eaten dinner then gone back to finish up work, the call of the red wine was strong. I was anchored by my 8 PM support call for the 100 day challenge. I am already sensing a shift of routine and my mind is reprogramming to this new routine. There are the occasional "red wine" impulses but bringing myself back to the present moment and my routine and anchoring myself quickly shifts my thinking.

After the support call I feel like I spent the next hour on the most wonderful date with myself and I didn't even get to first date. It truly felt indulgent and I think a huge part of that for me was throwing out the rule book and listening to my body and my mind without any time pressure. Like unwrapping a rich dark chocolate bar, after 15 minutes of meditation, I lay down sinking into the blanket listening to what was next from my guide, myself. I stretched in the areas and for the length of time I wanted to. It was a delicate balance of feeling completely in and out of control and it was delicious. I went from moment of "ahh this feels good" to moment of "ahh this feels really good". One of my most important core values is - to feel good - and it felt GOOD. Every now and then my mind would wonder to the future and visualize my next stage sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and I used that as I an indication that I was not done yet. By the time I was done I felt the most relaxed I have ever felt from any relaxation ever. There wear no thoughts of red wine left, I had satiated my desire for peace, calm and relaxation and it was no longer necessary. I felt like i had that wonderful, just had sex aura, around me. The kind of relaxation you get after intense and pleasurable release. I can't wait to do it again.

Afterwards I floated upstairs kissed Kirk good night and went directly to bed, still riding the wave. I have raised the bar of indulgence. What's next? I can't wait to see what unravels.

The Ying and Yang of Indulgance

2009-03-05T07:24:00.000-08:00

How much is enough? This thought came to mind when I was working with a client today. There is most definitely a scarcity mentality in the air right now. The most common scarcity being a feeling of not enough money but once you begin to dust off the surface and dig down a whole bunch of them pop up like worms in a flower bed. Not enough vacation time, not enough time to do my job, not enough clients, not enough time to meditate, not enough fulfilment, not enough love... Before you know you are swimming in a sea of negativity and scarcity in the midst of a hurricane. Have I mentioned, what you focus on expands. I know, I know you've heard me say it before but it so relevant. Focus on scarcity will bring you an abundance of...awareness, action, speech, and thoughts of scarcity. So if you want more scarcity go right ahead.

If however you are looking for abundance then the path to abundance is built on reserves. Focus on the reserves in your life. Reserves of tomato soup, toilet paper, ball-point pens. It doesn't matter.

Tips to Focus on Reserves:

Look around your house and find the reserves that you already have
Stack the 10 extra rolls of toilet paper in a pretty basket by the toilet and take a moment to enjoy how great that feels
Empty the junk drawer and put all the take-out menu's in a file folder or binder and take a moment to flip through them and enjoy the order and abundance of resources for dining
Clear off your desk and the areas around it and put all the pens in a pretty box or a pen holder on your desk so you can reflect on the abundance of them as you work
Open up your pantry. Line up the cans of kidney beans you bought at Costco and take in the abundance of substance and possibility of all the dishes you could create or discover that will make your palate sing.
Find an abundance of something you will never use? Enjoy the act of giving and find someone who loves or needs exactly what you don't and give it way. Then enjoy the abundance of space that creates
Stroke your cat or dog and feel the abundance of love
Each day acknowledge one area of abundance in your life

What you focus on will expand. The kidney beans will sprout like the beanstalk in "Jack and the Beanstalk" bringing you your golden goose. But only if you water and tend to them; only if you make room for them to grow.

Once you begin to shift your thinking to abundance the next idea to introduce is

How much is enough?

Seriously how much is enough. Take some time to put boundaries so that you can measure your success and feel complete. Only you know when you are full and how to measure that so create your own boundaries and put them around the things you crave, desire, love and value in your life. Instead of just ravishing after scarcity like a hungry bear destroying everything in your path with blinders on put things into perspective and be mindful as you prepare and portion out your meal and eat.

To bring this back to my challenge, indulgence, I am now chewing on the idea of how much is enough. This was prompted last night as I sat with my vibrating foot massage, transfixed in an episode of Lost, sipping on a glass of red wine. I feel my 100 day journey will also be an exploration and digestion of this question and I am excited to see how it unfolds.

The Relationship Between Focus & Success

2009-03-04T15:38:00.000-08:00

In today's world and especially among the women I work, with it is not a question of coming up with what to do, it is a question of which one of these million thing to focus on. Today we are proficient multi-taskers with limited attention spans. Eager and excited to do everything we find ourselves juggling 10, 11 or even 20 balls in the air at one time.

In answer to this I ask;
how many balls can you juggle, consistently, without dropping one?

Focus is powerful and a key component to your success.

To illustrate my point visualize you are sitting at your computer. You open up outlook check your e-mail, click on one, perhaps an invitation to "Break Thru Your Invisible Barrier to Success" which peeks your curiosity. When you get there it offers a free PDF on defining success and you click to download it. While it is downloading you put a CD in and itunes opens up so you can listen. Then a balloon pops up saying you have updates for itunes would you like to upload them now? What the hell, why not you think and click yes. You then log into your newsletter program to finish up your monthly newsletter, the reason you are at the computer in the first place. It's going really slowly as it loads so you decided to go into my documents and open up a word document on "Breaking Thru to Success" to quote in the newsletter. You click on my documents and go completely blank. Looking down at the toolbar you see you have 10 programs open, the computer is going really slow and you have absolutely no idea why you are in my documents. Sound familiar?

Opportunities are like candy, too much of a good thing can make you sick. So going back to the original question: How many balls can you juggle, consistently, without dropping one.

Multi-tasking wastes a lot of time. When you slow down your computer and overload your mind you spend a lot of time repeating things you've already done, waiting for the computer to respond, forgetting to do things and not doing things to your full potential.

Do you want to be a master juggler of 3 balls or a bad or mediocre juggler of 10? You decide.

Tips on Designing a NIghttime Routine That Springboards You Into Tommorrow

2009-03-04T07:08:00.000-08:00

A nighttime routine anchors you, fuels you, renews you and acts as a springboard for a successful and fulfilling tomorrow.

As I focus on my night time routine I am noticing several components that are present on a regular basis:

Transitioning from work to personal time (5:30 - 6PM)
Quality time with Sofie
Dinner time
Meditation time 7:30 PM - 8 PM
Support and work on 100 day challenge 8 PM - 8: 30 PM
Indulgence time
Unwinding time before bed, usually with Kirk

Some components are anchored at a set time, others float. On different evenings some each component may take up a different amount to time but it all fits into the time frame between 5:30 - 10:30 PM, a five hour period.

Establishing a night time routine:

Review and become aware of your current routine and habits
Set boundaries around the time frame that the routine is contained
List the key components that are in your routine now
Take a clean sheet of paper and without restricting yourself by money or circumstances list the elements that would be essential in your IDEAL night time routine
List things that renew you
List things that you want to do to prepare for a successful tomorrow
List things that relax you
Journal about the words anchor, renew and relax. Define them for yourself forgetting the dictionary definition
How can you bridge that gap between you current routine and your ideal routine?
Make a list of 3 things to eliminate, 3 things to add and 3 things to enhance that are connected with your night time routine
Put together a simple 5 - 7 step nighttime routine - be specific and realistic about what you want to and can achieve in the time frame
Type up your routine and experiment with it over the next 7 - 10 days
Create a chart and give yourself a check mark or a star for each item you do, each day
Come up with a reward for getting the max number of points in your nighttime routine game, have fun with it
Design the rules. For example for the first 7 days try to do the whole routine ONE time. Once you have achieved that for the next 30 days try to do the whole routine for 7 consecutive days. Then go for 30 consecutive days.

Be kind to yourself. This is an experiment not a black and white (success or failure). Use this as a wonderful opportunity to figure out what makes you tick and to learn more about your core values, intentions, straights and challenges.

NIght One of Indulgance

2009-03-03T06:49:00.000-08:00

Every year I reflect on the past and come up with a theme for the coming year, as well a three priorities to focus on using the book "Discovering Your Intentional & Exceptional Life". My theme this year is "Forging my Own Path". It stems from a quote I came across

"If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path."

Joseph Campbell

As I forge my own path in this challenge I decided to see what indulgances presented themselves to me each day instead of planning and creating a list. During day one while I was picking up a book for my financial independence class I came across a beautiful keepsake book, Mother and next to it Grandmother. As I reached for Mother, Grandmother slipped down on the shelf literally into my hands. "Ok" I told myself, "Grandmother it is". As I explored the pages I realized what a wonderful mothers day gift these would be for my three mothers (mum, step-mum and mum-in-law). I snapped up three copies. When I got home I placed the books at the top of the stairs, intending to put them in the gift cupboard and went off to coach a client.

My night of indulgance will always begin when I log off from work. I have fallen into a habit of going directly upstairs and cracking open a nice bottle of red wine. I am looking to reprogram myself with tthis challenge of indulgances. On day one when my three year old, Sofie, excitedly spilled down the stairs, hands full of papers which she proudly waved at me while at the same time celebrating, words popping out like pop corn, I saved my work and marched upstairs with her. I then gave her centre stage to guide me through all her wonderful work with the letter O, the number 7 and the color green.

After dinner, with The Beatles playing in the backgound and the TV off, Sofie and I dragged her dollhouse into the living room and I spent a wonderful 30 minutes marching my figureen all aound it's three story mansion. Then Sofie and I preceeded to bath the dogs, swing the babies, water the plants and enjoy a BBQ breakfast. At 7:30 PM after a large white bull dog caused, what Kirk called, a natural disaster, we packed up the house and Sofie went off to bed with daddy.

I then segued into my night time routine. 20 minutes of meditation and then a 30 minute support call. Then it was time for indulgence. What would it be I contemplated as I climbed the stairs? As I reached the top I came across the three "Grandmother" books. Ah ha. I went to the gift cupboard and pulled out three large sheets of paper decorated by Sofie with bright coloured, primary paint. I then pulled together some beautiful fabric, fairy stickers and ribbons and indulged in wrapping these wonderful books. I then spent 30 minutes showcasing Sofie's art and decorating the packages.

Giving a thoughtful gift and taking the time to present it in a beautiful way felt wonderfully indulgent. For a long time wrapping the present has been "a chore" I hand off to my husband because I am too busy, although I love to wrap them when I have time. What a great way to begin my 100 night of indulgence, wrapping it up in a huge bow for myself.

Living Your Legacy NOW

2009-03-02T06:47:00.000-08:00

People often talk about "leaving a legacy". According to dictionary.com a legacy is defined as
"anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor: the legacy of ancient Rome." Phrasing it that way makes it sound like something you get to when you get everything else done. I can envision hundreds of people with hundreds and thousands of reasons why they can't do it right now. "I need to get some money so I can start a foundation", "I will do it when I get famous", "I don't have time right now,", I'll do it when I retire", "I have to figure out my life's purpose first" and I'm sure the list goes on and on.

Recently on of my favorite monks spoke of karma at our Sunday service. He was giving a wonderful talk and right in the middle he defined karma as our thoughts, speech and action working together. This was a pivotal moment for me. In the past I had thought about karma as good or bad but never simply as karma. I also relished the simplicity in this definition of living. Isn't living simply a string of thoughts, words and actions woven together in different patterns to create the unique fabric of our lives?

After sitting with this for a few days another thought dropped into my consciousness; legacy and karma seem to me to beautifully complement each other. From this conclusion a wonderfully simple and inspiring idea emerged, the idea that our legacy is simply our thoughts, speech and action, NOW. Mean it's living and breathing in us every day. It is not something you can get to later, or squash.

5 Ways to Live Your Legacy NOW...

Be a role model
Uncover your vision
Define your priorities, core values and what is truly important to you - "Take Back Control of Your Life"
Ask yourself if you are proud of what you did, said and thought each day
Live your life as if every element of it was being projected onto a huge billboard that everyone could see
Set clear boundaries and raise your standards
Smile and acknowledge your waitress
Cut out busy work, simplify and make room to grow into your own wonderfulness
Stop getting in the way of your true life's purpose and keeping your wonderful gifts a secret, share them
Value your time

I encourage you this month to embrace your legacy and start living it now. Take responsibility for today and enjoy be present. Have a wonderful month and as always if you would like to explore coaching as a tool to living your intentional and exceptional life now contact me to set up a free test drive.

"Values are like fingerprints. Nobody's are the same, but you leave 'em all over everything you do"

Elvis Presley

Expectations & Commitment - Setting Myself Up For Success

2009-03-01T08:54:00.000-08:00

Now I am clearer on my challenge my next step is to look realistically at the commitment required and my expectations. Going in with this clearly in mind makes a huge difference in the outcome of any project, goal or intention.

Questions to ponder (from my program "Breaking Thru Your Invisible Barrier to Success":

Do you have the physical time to complete this program? Are your prepared to make it
a priority for the next 100 days? Why now? The program will be a wonderful opportunity for me to rework my time, particularly my nigh times. I will be using time I already have but in a more positive way so I do not need extra time. I love the support of the 100 day challenge as well as of course the accountability so the timing it perfect for me to take advantage of this. Another factor is my desire to deepen my spiritual practice and shift some undesirable habits before I turn 40 this year. I feel I have been preparing for this for a long time and am now ready to live the last act of this chapter of my life.
What sacrifices might you have to make in order to get the most out of this
opportunity? Are you ready to make them? I will have to sacrifice taking the easy way out, old habits, time on the couch watching TV.
Have you considered how you will approach the program (time of day, how much time
per day, expectations? The support calls are weekdays at 8 PM so I will be spending 7:30 - 8:30 PM most evenings unless I have plans outside the house or am working with a client. At least 3 nights per week will be spent on it. Friday and Saturday will be different. I will be outlining them once I get into the specifics of my challenge but I think it would be fun to focus those night and at least 2 total per week around indulgent evening with Kirk. I will also be blogging each day around the challenge from 7 - 7:30 AM. I will also spend 1 hour each weekend working on Personal Foundation to clarify my indulgences, needs, wants, values, habits and to solidify my foundation.
Where can you draw support, strength and positive energy from to help you through
the program? The support calls, friends whom I will be including by indulging with them - perhaps setting up at least 1 night of indulgence per week with a friend. My coach, Kirk of course and anyone who is tagging along on my journey via the blog. Rev Kusula, Rev Shanti and temple.
What are your personal expectations, desired benefits, and outcomes you hope to
achieve by completing this program?

Weight loss - this one always makes an appearance!
Figuring out the missing link - nighttime routines
Quality time with Kirk, Sofie, Friends and Family
Increase client base and shift schedule to accommodate them
2 monthly group coaching groups up and running
More energy
Overall feeling healthier
Bright white teeth
Healthy tongue
Strong discipline and insight in Buddhism
Solid meditaton practice
More limber
Naturally attracting lots of opportunities via the incredible extreme self care I am doing
Simplifying routine and time
Cupboards all organized, lots of purging
Scrap booking and photo's organized
Lots of good reading time
Continuing mastery of my coaching skills, exploring new techniques and solidifying learning of current techniques
More money in my bank account
A clear sense of who I am and what makes me tick
A new book "The Zen of Red Wine"
A constant stream of participants successfully completing my 90 day program "Breaking Thru Your Invisible Barrier to Success" and a list of changes it has made to their life and testimonials
Speaking engagements booked for the next 18 months.

Curds & Whey - Squeezing out undesirables

2009-03-01T08:28:00.000-08:00

As I approach the challenge, tomorrow is day 1, I am packing my tool kit to set myself up for a successful challenge. The first thing I am putting in the bag is my mantra "what you focus on expands". With this in mind I will primarily build my challenge around things I want rather than things I don't want. In doing so I expand on positives in my life and squeeze the undesirables through the muslin, leaving me with a big ball of positives.

So what are my desirable's around red wine?

A large part of this challenge is centred around routine for me. Particularly nighttime routine, which also anchors your morning routine. Transitioning from work to personal life is difficult for me and it is a fine balance between working so hard I crash into my personal life and turning off the computer while I am still energized. Therefore a lot of my challenge and desirable's will be based on elements I will be experimenting with in my night time routine.

Calmness
Meditation
Support
Transition/unwinding
Extreme self care - pampering-indulging my senses
Yoga
Preparing for the next day
Leaving a clean kitchen to embrace in the morning
Short walk around the block to bring me back into the present
Fun with Sofie
One on one time with Kirk
Creative expression
Indulging in music, film, TV I enjoy and that stimulates me

I am definately sensing a theme here. I think my title for my challenge will be

"100 Evenings of Indulgence".

Whenever I work with clients on any of my programs the first thing I do is to encourage them to clearly define the program for themselves and then own it by giving it a title or theme. This is a great way to begin a strong commitment and bond with the material. When you clearly feel a connection between yourself and what you are doing you are much more likely to invest in it. As much as I love the title "The Zen of Red Wine" I think I will save that for the book; it focuses on the negative and would pull me back rather than naturally pushing forward like "100 Evenings of Indulgence". Now that is something I want to focus on.

The Zen of Red Wine

2009-02-28T08:15:00.000-08:00

Just by chance today, 2 days before the 100 day challenge begins, I am attending a one day retreat at my Buddhist temple. I decided to attend the retreat a few months before I decided to enroll in the 100 day challenge. Red wine and Buddha have been duking it out for a while and recently they began to embrace the idea of co-existing. When I first became a Buddhist I took the 5 Precepts. The 5 Precepts are 5 things you promise to do and among them is "not to take intoxicants". The first time anyone ever told me about this precept they followed it by the disclaimer designed for modern day, American Buddhists... "That doesn't mean you cannot drink, it means you cannot drink to the point of intoxication". Fifteen years ago that little loop hole allowed me to see the possibility and I bowed obediently in front of the Buddha and the monks at my temple and took the 5 precepts. A few months ago I felt an intense desire to re-commit myself to the precepts. In looking back I realized I had translated that loophole into "You can drink" and left it at that not respecting the true purpose and meaning of it. Part of my 100 day challenge is about honoring my precept and re-evaluating and designing my life to accommodate that. I'm not sure of exactly what it will look like but I think my retreat today will perhaps shed a little light on it for me.

Who am I and why am I doing this?

2009-02-27T07:31:00.001-08:00

My name is Marianne Emma Jeff and I am a strategy and success coach in Los Angeles, California. I am originally from Nottingham England and will be turning the big 40 this October, YEAH.

As a coach I often reflecting back limiting beliefs to my clients. I say "reflect back" because part of what I do as a coach is point out language, habits and patterns that present themselves during our sessions. Limiting beliefs are assumptions we make and then hold as "the truth" which stop us from achieving our goals and intentions. They crop up in negative self-talk, that little voice in your head saying "your not good enough", "you will never lose weight", "I can't do this"... There are lots of techniques to shift these beliefs and develop positive, healthy, propelling habits. In essence you are shifting your internal programming which may have been wired by what your parents told you, a bad experience or a positive role model you had as a child. This is not an easy process but it is possible.

How can you tell if limiting beliefs are sabotaging your life?

Your dreams and intentions are constantly alluding you, an illusive carrot hanging in front of you.
You often begin things but don't see them through to fruition.
You frequently talk yourself out of things that you really want

The hidden cost of limiting beliefs!

Recently I was coaching a client and a limiting belief presented itself in the conversation. I checked in with the client and she confirmed that she was holding the belief that "she could never get ahead". She is an extremely smart and intuitive women and she quickly realized that this language and thought pattern was not influencing her positively. Familiar with the power of using positive language and my mantra "What you focus on expands" she saw that the statement was holding her back but I became curious about what other effect this was having on her life so I posed the following scenario to her.

"Is there ever a time when you are about to make a purchase, something you really don't need but you really want (I like to call these bright shiny objects) and you tell yourself "why not, I'm never going to get ahead anyway?""

The penny dropped. Not only was this limiting belief about money holding her back she was using it to literally dig herself into a hole. I am sure she is not alone.

What has this got to do with my 100 day challenge?

As the deadline for this 100 day challenge approached I toyed with different things I could focus on. In the last challenge I focused on 3 things:

Promoting my classes
Putting together coaching 3 coaching packages
No TV

What would I shine the spotlight on this time? The elephant in my living room is RED WINE- ahhh I said it. How could I bring it into my challenge? I do not want to eliminate it but instead shift it's place to a less featured role in my life, more of an extra in the background of a medieval crowd scene than the hot, red-headed, starlet on a block buster movie. As I pondered this I realized this would be an excellent opportunity to document the process of shifting habits and to use real life examples to explain some of the techniques I use in my coaching as well as a great way to develop new ones.

So for all of you out there that have been asking how do I change my habits, break thru my barrier or achieve my goals...

Watch this space!

What is a 100 Day Challenge

2009-02-27T07:22:00.002-08:00

The 100 day challenge was originally developed my Thomas Leonard, the father of coaching. Coachville after Thomas's passing now continues the tradition. On March 2nd, 2009 the next 100 day challenge will begin and I will be blogging my way through 100 days of shifting my habits and Breaking Thru MY Invisible Barrier to Success.

What is a 100 Day Challenge?

"What is something challenging, creative, and fun that you could do every day for 100 days that would rock your world (at least a little bit) and add value to the lives of others?
Is there something that you would LOVE to do but you have never had the inspiration or environment to take the chance and REALLY go for it. It could be something personal like telling your mate “I love you” in 100 different ways, or something for your business like meeting a new business person in your community every day for 100 days.
Perhaps you already know what it is, OR perhaps you know you are ready for a challenge but you are not quite sure what it is yet? Either way, the 100 Day Challenge program is perfect for you.
During the program you will explore what it really means to PLAY! To put your heart and soul into something that is important to you AND to have a lot of fun at the same time.
You will also explore the distinction between practicing an activity to reach mastery AND taking steps on a project to reach an objective. Both are good and important aspects of playing a game in business and life. "

Coachville.com