Is Your Year Half Full or Half Empty?

7 Tips to Make 2009 Your Best Year Yet

We just passed the half-way point of 2009 and are half-way closer to 2010, summer is upon us and for most of us that is a pleasant, out door, carefree time, even if we aren't going anywhere on vacation. Traditionally this is a time to slack off a little, give ourselves a breather so to speak. Taking care of yourself and relaxing and rejuvenating is extremely important if you are on a path to success but to get the most out of your vacation keep in mind the following tips...

1. How much vacation time do I have?
2. When specifically does my vacation start and end? This is epecially important if you are self-employeed or own your own business.
3. Realistically what can I and do I want to get done before my vacation starts? If possible put together a REALISTIC and ATTAINABLE checklist of things to be done before you go on vacation.
4. How am I doing in relation to my yearly intentions or goals? What is working, what isn't and why? If you did not set any NOW is a great time to start. If you reflect on this before your vacation you plant the seed so that new ideas and motivation can grow.
5. Is 2009, half full or half empty? What would it take to make it half full if it isn't already? Remeber the glass of water half-full or half-empty? A change in perspective may be your answer.
6. How can I make 2009 my BEST YEAR YET?
7. What is holding me back? What do I need to give up, change or strengthen?

Have an amazing guilt free vacation.

If you would like to see how working with a coach can make you more effective and more efficient, reaching your goals faster and making 2009 your best year yet email Marianne Emma Jeff coach@motivatmyself.com to set up your complimentary 30 minute strategy session.

Death of The Self

I recently read a, very short, account of Buckminster Fuller and his pondering of life that really made me think. This extraordinary man, whom I am now on a pursuit to find our much more about, spent a couple of hours contemplating suicide one night. At the end of his contemplation he decided instead to live from that day forward "as if" he had killed himself that night. What did he mean by that? He decided to give up his agenda, taking things personally (he was dead, no person left to take, right) and to instead see what needed to be done and to do it as a servant of the universe. As I am contemplating the zen of red wine this really resonated with me as at the beginning of my quest for Zenness I also contemplated and acted upon suicidal tendencies, obviously it didn't pan out or I would not be writing this post right now. On my journey of consciousness I have come to the end of red wine and am now faced with "wherever you go, there you are" although many, many years ago, my dance with death is unfinished, or rather unconfronted. My lack of consciousness lay a blanket over it covering it loosely so that once I opened up my consciousness again it lies there under the first layer in need of resolution, needing to be laid to rest.

Don't get me wrong, I am not proclaiming the age old question "to be or not to be" I am firmly rooted in "to be" but the state of mind, unmet needs or whatever stirred up the "not to be" like Hamlets dead father needs to be acknowledged and laid to rest. Many, many years later I feel a deep connection to Buckminster Fullers moment of Zen as he moved past self into oneness with the universe. So it seems on my journey for the Zen of red wine I have come full circle. I now stand facing my demons, my attachment to self and I wonder what if that part of me were to die but the rest of me were "to be". What would it mean to be stripped of that part of my self, to lay it to rest and to move forward. Just the thought of it gives me a lightness, a release. However in order to lay it to rest I first need to find those parts of me, to give them the contemplation they deserve and then to dissect them like trimming the fat from a piece of meat. I wonder will the baby weight I am carry around come off then? alas that sounds like my self talking! The journey continues...

Waiting For the Mail

What is it that gives mail such lure? I remember waiting for the postman (I'm English) with such excitement and anticipation now the snail mail has been replaced by e-mail. Now instead of one delivery a day we can have as many deliveries as we want simply by sending the send/receive button. Each time we sit watching it process, sometimes I even hit it twice one after the other, I cannot tell you why. It's almost as if I feel like it needs double the push to get through a really big piece of mail or something. I have noticed that Monday and Tuesday are prime e-mails days with Wednesday following behind. Thursday is slow and Friday, Saturday and Sunday are usually nothing more than e-zines and daily subscriptions. Now don't get me wrong I'm not talking about all the junk and requested for info etc, I'm talking about those pearls we are waiting for those e-mails gems in amongst the rocks.

What are we all waiting for?

Opportunities, clients or in my husbands case perhaps a job offer. Some people wait for new friends on face book or for someone to write on their wall or maybe even a new follower on Twitter. It seems there is a whole lot of waiting going on and now summer time has hit the e-mail machine has powered down even more; It is like watching paint dry.

I hate the power of waiting. It doesn't matter how much activity I do and as al lot of you know, I do a lot of activity (calling, emailing, responding, newsletters, events...) it never seems to balance out. The responses just come when they come there is no pattern or calculation to understand or anticipate them.

So how do we take away it's power?
By taking action, unrelated action, weeding the garden, going for a walk, a day at the beach, organizing clients files or writing a book. Action is the antidote for lots of things and it comes with lots of extra benefits like fulfilment and fun and relaxation.

We cannot and I suspect do not want to eliminate summertime or Thursday through Sunday but we can choose our reaction and instead respond.

5 Ways to Stop Waiting

1. Create a list of actions you can or would like to do and review it every time you catch yourself waiting.
2. If you are self-employed create summer hours. You will most likely find that you get just as much done in less time and don't have to feel guilty about having fun.
3. If everybody is at the beach maybe that is where the opportunities are too, get out there and meet people, mingle. It takes 3 - 4,000 people to know what you do for you to have a steady stream of opportunities.
4. Turn off your computer and go take action instead at certain times every day.
5. Work somewhere there is no reception of wireless for a few hours every week.

Bonus: Get ready for the end of summer and be ahead of the game. Set up email campaigns and newsletters for the rest of the year, write marketing for the holidays or organize your receipts and set up a system for you finances so tax season is a breeze.

Wherever You Go...There You Are

Hmmm. As the honeymoon of conscious living wears off, forced to examine my needs, wants and desires I am left contemplating...

Wherever I go, there I am.

It's been about four weeks since my moment of revelation when I decided that red wine was no longer a part of my Zen of life. As ordinary living creeps and blends with conscious living I began to feel a wave of boredom coming over me. Not the kind of wave that engulfs you or crashes down on you soaking you to the skin, but almost a mist just landing, barely noticeable if you weren't paying attention, if you weren't conscious. At first sensing something missing I simply tried to fill the hole with another glass of fizzy water or a single dark piece of chocolate. Then with still heightened awareness I notice the hole was still there. An interesting conundrum materialized, how to fill the hole to feel whole.

Parallel to this discovery I am also piecing together my one person show - The Zen of Red Wine. The show is sewn from the fabric of my life and exploring my journey from these two perspectives simultaneously is insightful to say the least. Roll into this life purpose and vision for my business's and you have quite the stew. Exhausting to say the least. Last night exhausted from my quest for the holy grail of completeness I picked up a meditation book desperate AGAIN for answers and there it was in bold print...wherever you go, there you are. Comforting and disturbing all in one perfect little dose. So I suppose it's back to me, back to my needs, my values and my core looking for answers from the evidence and recognizing the unfinished business of my journey so far. So I suppose it is now time to visit the source, the beginning of the Zen of red wine and to walk the path again. This time clear headed and conscious, aware of the wind changes and the gaps. It's time to build bridges, seek the truth and take a good honest look. And I thought the journey was over!

The Solid Beat of Consistency

Just like the beat of a drum consistency keeps the beat of life, work, balance and the success we so desire. The heart of what I do as a coach is to beat the drum of consistency for my clients. Just like my clients I get lost in the music of life; lost in the new rhythm, the different voices and lyrics that grab my attention and before I know it my hand hangs still over the drum, the beat lost. I went to a drum circle on Saturday, what fun to beat on a drum with a group of people. I don't know about you but my rhythm is AWFUL! Some people have natural rhythm and some of us... well, we have to work at it. Life is no different. In the end it doesn't matter so much what you do as it does that you are consistent with it; Whether it is writing on face book, networking, marketing, working on exploding the myths that are holding you back in your life or rehearsing your scales consistency will bring you progress.

Evolving Self

Moving from pain to power!

Last weekend I was feeling under the weather, whatever that really means - but I digress, and so I urged my family to go away for the weekend to visit family alone and I stayed home binging on...

BOOKS!

Now I know you were expecting me to say Red Wine and there was a fair amount of that being prescribed as well, it's an excellent medication, but the binge was primarily on books. On Friday I consumed "Tribes", "The Art of Possibility" and "Rich Dad Poor Dad". Saturday I finished up "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway" and then moved on to "Flow". On Sunday morning I dragged all my books upstairs to my green couch and surrounded myself with them like one of the forty thieves admiring his jewels. Looking at all the books, in the midst of the addiction I somehow stepped away from myself and observed the frenzied seeker on the couch. It was a first for me and the moment I looked at the situation from this perspective the penny dropped.

There is no answer!

I'm sure all of you reading this came to this conclusion I long time ago, but for me this was quite the revelation. All the craving of the next book, the sifting through, the seeking I was doing I now realized was because I was looking for THE answer. Every book offers up at least one solution, some of them are well thought out and insightful but they never satiated the seeker. I now realized that if I wrote down all the answers that these books provided and broke them down to their core everything came back to - being present. Working with hundreds of clients and their goals, challenges and intentions I had long ago realized that it always came down to being present. If you are lacking confidence, it is because you are in your head listening to your gremlins, the answer is to be present and the same applies to almost every challenge in your life. I knew this, yet I was still looking for THE answer, or perhaps a quicker easier answer or something perhaps more tangible like eating cabbage or giving up coffee. I then saw that a much better thing to ponder is...

What the hell is the damn question!

I sat for a moment allowing this to resonate surveying the books around me. I still saw them as wonderful resource but the heroin had been extracted and now my lust had turned more into appreciation. My eye caught Gary Zukav's book "Seat of the Soul". I glanced through the index and noticed a chapter on addiction which grabbed my attention. As I read that chapter, for the first time, I saw addiction from a completely different perspective. As a highly functioning alcoholic for many years I had been carrying a lot of guilt and fear around. The more I thought about it I realized I had created a myth, that I was very attached to, that sober people were losers, didn't have fun and all they thought about was being sober. This chapter turned that assumption on it's head. Gary speaks of coming from a place of power, of choice and moving towards enlightenment when you choose to be conscious rather than unconscious. Now instead of thinking of being sober and seeing all the things I would have to give up I saw all the possibilities and the power of remaining conscious. Therefore by not drinking I wasn't depriving myself I was opening myself up, now that sounded a lot more attractive to me.

So I am evolving as you see, before your eyes. It has been 6 days since I took back my power and choose to live consciously. I feel like a butterfly slowly emerging from my cocoon, testing the water and making sure that I am in a safe place, getting ready to spread my vibrant wings and fly. Not as dramatic as my usual ejaculations but I think that is a good sign I am on the right path or to be precise forging the right path.

The "Wanter's" and the "Doer's"

Over the years and hundreds of introductory calls I have noticed that there seem to be two categories; the wanters and the doers. The wanters hang up with me after a complimentary session professing how much they would like to work with me and the doers say "yes" lets do this. For a long time I did not see this distinction, it was fogged up with the oh so well intentioned words of the "wanters". They even follow up with emails to "their next coach" and for a while they check-in to repeat their proclamation that we will work together soon. Now I don't think you are destined to either group for the rest of your life. Perhaps at different stages and in different situations we must switch membership to protect ourselves, I'm not sure. What I do know is that it is very hard to hang on to a want and it is much easier to stay focused when you are active and moving forward. After a while the inspiration, the lust, the spark of that first complimentary session wears off and is forgotten. Without the consistency it is easy to slip back into old habits and routines or perhaps even worse a new lust, a new shiny metal object. In the latter case you live jumping from shiny object to shiny object without ever landing anywhere. In life it is important to stand and take stock periodically, to stick with something to give it a chance and to have measurable standards so that you can learn what works and what doesn't and shift your strategy accordingly.

My clients, "the doers", amaze me with their progress, they stride forward and shift habits that have controlled them for years without even noticing. That's when I get to do one of my very important jobs, to applaud them, to send them off on a victory lap before they jump back into the race. The "wanters" tug at my heart strings. I bump into them and their intentions and they assure me that once they get this duck in line, or finish this project that they will be ready to work with me. I smile and hope that this is true, but as you have heard me say before hope is not an effective strategy for success. Life is about doing, if you are sitting in the stands with well intentions you are not in the game. I encourage you to, jump in the game, it's a lot of fun.

Ask

39 1/2 or 5 months or whatever fraction of a year, clicked into place last night. Like Sofie I felt the desire to slow down time and document it's progress. Kirk and I had always refused to go beyond whole or 1/2 once she turned one so I guess 39 1/2 it is. I picture the clock vividly but instead of going from 1 - 12 it goes from 1 - 40, mostly in increments of 1.

39 1/2 clicked into place with an intense desire to lose who I had become and go back to me. As a lay awake trying to send my shoulders into deep relaxation and failing miserable I realized what I was trying to lose was deeper than the 30 lbs of baby weight I first thought it was. It was more than losing the bloated, dishevelled, double chinned, crazy red headed, round bookworm glass wearing me that reflected back at me at me from the black screen of my laptop. As I lingered in between the relaxation, stumbling on my path for the zen of red wine, desperately trying to untangle the two things, I felt lost. My theme of forging my own path had now left me lost in a field knee high in mud, completely unaware of which direction to take. I could see no visible path and thank goodness, because for the first time all the bright shiny paths calling me and tugging me in every direction at once were gone.

Lost I pondered what to do, I consulted the map of relaxation of glimpses of peace and hoping for insight.

And finally...I asked.

What do I do where do I go. This place felt like home, it was comforting to throw up my arms and sit not knowing, to give myself over and not jump up and down like a child trying to guess the answer. In the calmness I saw the answer, as a coach I had been trying to find my path, my style, my unique way of communicating and in the quiet I found the answer. What came to me was to stop fighting myself, to embrace my creativity, what kind of 90 day coach am I? That is the question my coach left me with last week. I had left the question behind until last night when I picked it up briefly like a pair of dirty socks and then put it in the laundry basket not yet ready to clean them and then this morning I picked it up again, just this very second and owned it. Asking had brought me my answers, I am creative, I cannot fight that, I love technology and progress and crayons and spirituality. I realized a quiet peaceful moment of contemplation at the beginning of every session was the place to begin, more space for my clients, doing it now instead of adding to their to do list and when they are stuck instead of trying to give them possible answers to linger in the moment longer and even leave it hanging advising them to sit with themselves like I did last night and ask, ask the universe, their creative muse or their higher power but to give them the gift of asking and holding open space for them in the craziness to contemplate. I have always prided myself as holding open the space in peoples lives, now I see myself really walking that talk, really holding them in that peaceful place of the present and empowering them to linger there keeping the future and past at bay, to enjoy it briefly, to focus on it and to enjoy as it expands. I see myself as using structure to give them the freedom they desire, the freedom to make room to grow, to quiet the chatter and to hear the answers but mostly to give them the gift of asking.

Do you launch or ejaculate?

There has been a lot of buzz about "launching" for a while now but I am currently taking a marketing class and in the third month we will be "launching".

Before when I heard this term I thought:

• Oh another trend
• I know how to promote
• I don't need to launch
• I already know how to do that
• That's just for big companies
• I bet that has a hefty price tag
• I can do this alone

The class I'm in doesn't even get to the launch part until month three but I suppose the idea of it began stirring up my consciousness. Suddenly, as has been happening a lot recently, a realization dived into the forefront of my mind. "You don't launch you ejaculate." I stopped and pondered for a while, is that true? YES came back to me loud and clear.

I also realized I'm not alone, a lot of my clients suffer from premature ejaculation too. They spend a lot of time composing the perfect email and then proudly send it off into the webiverse and then...wait. Eventually becoming dispondent when noone responds or they don't get the response they had hoped for.

I am especially guilty because I have a lot of technical skills and can bang out a new workshop, podcast or group in a few minutes and have it up on the web. When I think of launch I think of a story unfolding, of anticipation and sharing, a big build up. In contrast my ejaculations seem quite sad. I have clear vision, strong strategies and take action but have been missing the boat, so to speak, on the launch. Look out, there is some champagne smashing on it way!

What a Beautiful Day

I made a huge leap with my zen of red wine last night. I was napping on the couch, embarrassingly at 7:30 PM, I was exhausted and thought perhaps I was coming down with something. At 8:15 PM my client called to cancel and I must admit I was relived. Kirk came upstairs as I hung up the phone. "Do you want to sit outside and have a drink" tumbled out of my mouth. "Sure" he said in his usual accommodating way. He shuffled downstairs to turn off the computer and I saunter into the bathroom. It was there sitting on the white throne that the shift began. Recently I have been having hypnotherapy and as I sat there one of the tools popped into my head. The hypnotherapist had given me an acronym STOP to use when I had a craving for the zen of red wine. I stopped and paused on the toilet and then got up grabbed a glass of water and came over to the couch to continue my pause. On the way I shuffled through my desk for the paper with the acronym on it that she had given me. Stop and then think, OK. I thought about the craving popping into my mind and then sat and acknowledged it for a while noticing it coming in and out. By the time Kirk came back upstairs I realized I didn't need to sit outside and have a drink, I needed to go to bed. In the pause I had enabled myself to respond rather than react to my desire to "feel better". It was easy, natural and felt completely indulgent. Once downstairs I washed my face, brushed teeth and settled into some good reading..."Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway". I love my bedtime routine but when I listen to the siren of red wine calling I often just don't get to it. Night time routine is a springboard into the next day and oh what a beautiful day it is today.

3 Day Work Week

I'm not sure where it came from but as I did my monthly taking stock and prioritizing "3 Day Work Week" arrived and sat like a taxi cab parked in my consciousness. It honked it's horn to declare it's arrival but only once, not in an obnoxious way. I pulled back the net curtain to look to see who was honking. Hmm "3 Day Work Week" is here I thought to myself and nodded; before I knew it I was sitting in the 3 day work week taxi looking out of the window and enjoying the view.

I started yesterday and it felt delicious. I love to work, I love tinkering with my web site like a car enthusiast on a Sunday morning, I love writing articles and of course I love speaking and working with clients. All this love has made me sloppy and unfocused. With an abundance of time and no boundaries I have been coming from the mentality that there is time to do everything that I want. Every new idea has a place but at the cost of success.

In a recent networking event the speaker shared a success formula which I have tweaked slightly and made it my own

Passion + Vision + Consistent Action = Star Performer/Successful Business

By creating boundaries around my time with the three day work week I think I will be accelerating my ride to Star Performer.

I am already noticing a difference. In a three hour block between clients yesterday I banged out a whole bunch of projects which I would have indulged in before for a lot longer. The boundaries of the 3 day work week keep me simple, focused and stop me from over complicating things which if you've read Creativity Versus Perfectionism you will know is my gift and my challenge. I am also looking forward to four days off which will renew, refresh and re-calibrate me ready for the next 3 day work week.

The Delicate Balance of Life

Just like the world has a delicate Eco system, so do we. I was reminded of that at 3 AM on Tuesday night. I was lay awake, my mind busy going through all the files in my mind de-fragmenting and doing maintaince like my computer. Suddenly at 3 AM it hit upon the file entitled, comfy peaceful place of pure indulgence, green couch. For those who have been following me about a six weeks ago I moved my couch into the dining room and it fell into place like the last piece of a jigsaw. I sat on it and a feeling of calmness and peace trickled though my body. That reminds me my husband bet at the time it wouldn't stay here two weeks, I need to collect on that! Anyway for two wonderful weeks I enjoyed the couch. In the evenings I lit candles and incense and sat relaxing listening to music and reading in pure indulgence on it. Then...

MY NEW LAPTOP ARRIVED!

My old laptop had lost it's ability to connect wirelessly. I had been patiently waiting it's arrival and eagerly sat on my peaceful, indulgent couch installing scrap booking factory deluxe, ACT and all the files on my external hard drive onto it. Day after day I sat, comfy legs outstretched on the indulgent couch. I sat on it and blogged my heart out, created flyer's to hand out at a fundraiser I was supporting, wrote speeches and answered emails. About a week ago I began to notice that my office had moved, now it was on the coffee table and all over the beautiful, peaceful green couch. Appalled I cleared it off, placed all the paper under the coffee table and every few nights shut off the laptop and put it under the coffee table too.

At 3AM on Tuesday night or rather Wednesday morning, to be correct, I realized I had completely violated my peaceful, calm, indulgent space. I had in essence crapped all over it and taken away it's positive power. In realizing this I began to retrace my steps and saw the effect this had rippled into the delicate balance of my life. When the tether to the desk was broken with the arrival of the new laptop all my boundaries around work hours were blown out of the water. I worked later and hit the red wine harder.

So on Wednesday I grabbed my office and relocated it to the desk in the living room next to a not so comfy and not even close to indulgent chair. I could feel the changes begin to ripple as I cleared off all the gunk on the couch. In my mind I began to set new boundaries around my laptop and the couch. Like the delicate balance of the world it will take a little time for the positive changes to take effect but I am excited to reclaim my peace, calm and pure indulgence.

Perfectionism Versus Creativity

Somewhere between 12 midnight and 1 AM, as I lay awake in a "more than 4 glass of wine mind surge" , a massive penny dropped into my consciousness.

"Perfectionism is getting in the way of me moving forward."

I am not sure what stirred it up or cleared the muddy water so that is was visible, perhaps it was the insightful hypnosis session I had on Wednesday which gathered it from my subconscious and drove it slowly over to my conscious mind, I'm not sure. I know where the thought originated though, it was planted by a wonderful teacher whose class I am taking right now. In her class we are exploring Personal Path, the journey beyond personal foundation. This Personal Path represents a level of living which can only be accomplished completely when we have gotten clear of the past, satisfied our unmet needs in healthy ways and uncovered and began to orient our lives around who we truly are. At the beginning of the class the teacher asked us all to revisit the personal foundation program and to see where we might need to tighten it up before we began. I snorted in frustration and when prompted shared that I had been doing it for three years and still had not completed it. Others in the class sympathized and we were told that personal foundation was a spiral and a life long process. This information did not appease me though. When I first found the personal foundation program I dived into it feet first and ran all through it lesson after lesson like a kid in a candy store. I picked up a tootsie roll, ran over to the bon-bons, sucked on some sherbet and chewed on some liquorice. That tactic left me with none of the lessons finished. Every time I start I never finish and as I continued to share this with the class the teacher inquired if "there was a little perfectionism going on here". I stopped dead in my tracks, perfectionism, no, then I gave it a second thought and have been chewing on it ever since, for almost three weeks in fact until 12 midnight last night.

That is when the penny dropped. My definition of perfectionism had caused the cloudiness but over the last few weeks I suppose my subconscious had been working at the lock slowly until it burst open last night. For me perfectionism meant, to be perfect, to have everything in order, almost O.C. D. What I now realize is that perfectionism is a lot like creativity. It is about a busy and creative mind over complicating things. I then stepped back and saw all the places I have and am doing this, which are making it impossible for me to move forward. Nothing is simple with me, but it is not because I want it to be perfect, well at least that is not the way I saw it in the past, it is because I have such BIG plans. I cannot possibly perform such BIG plans all at once. You might compare this to doing too much, an aha moment I had a few years ago, but there is most definitely a destinction between the two. The bigness and creativity behind every idea I have, sets me up from the beginning to fail. It is the seed behind the "doing too much" it is the force that puts it in motion.

As I realized all this excitedly and reflect on all the BIG things I was currently undertaking I saw the solution, I saw that simplicity was the answer. At that moment I once again saw my present as perfect, I realized the more than four glass of wine mind torture had been a necessary tool in unlocking this mystery and I saw from another side, the zen of red wine.

Cleaning Before the Maid Comes

Life has been pretty hectic the last few days. I have been focused on a speaking engagement and launching some new groups and my world has revolved around that and that alone. Out the window went my meditation schedule, eating well, and in came RED WINE... to the rescue!

There was a small part of me that didn't forget about pure indulgence and my quest for the zen of red wine, that part was my mind. Picture my mind as a huge town hall. The hall is a bustle of activity, 6 ft tables are laid out with worker bees putting things together in an assembly line. Someone very important stands on the stage and a crowd gathers to hear what he has to say. Way, way at the back of the room, someone stands quietly and politely saying "excuse me", "excuse me". It's consistent and once in a while the crowd acknowledges the person at the back of the room, "Yes". Given the opportunity the small voice replies "we need to meditate to centre us and bring the calmness back into our lives, we need to get back into schedule so we can take time to nourish ourselves, we need to exercise to build up our strength and.....". "Yes, yes, yes" the man at the front replies, "we will do it later, right now we are doing something very important and we don't have time for that".

Last week the person at the back of the room picked up the phone and called in the cavalry. Since then they have been pondering how best to utilize the cavalry when they arrive. I have an appointment with a hypnotherapist on Wednesday, tomorrow. My hope is that she can help me to keep the crowd at the town hall in order. In preparation today, I meditate again, the first time in at least a week. Last night I cleared off my work area and am enjoying a sense of calm in my environment again. Today I will eat well and review my schedule and hopefully I will discover a gap for yoga or pilates. All of this reminds me of cleaning before the maid comes. I know I can do a lot of this stuff, I want the maid to be able to do her job and so I need to clear the path so she can get her vacuum cleaner in and dust.

Living in an Alternate Universe Where Red Wine No Longer Exists?

I know I'm getting a little far our here but bare with me. Last week was a huge challenge for me, on one hand I had a very productive work week but on the other my self care went down the toilet and with it my joy, peace, calm and pure indulgence. Yesterday, Sunday, I sat filling out the prep form for my session with my coach today (Monday) and began rallying up my self care. I acknowledged all that I had accomplished and vowed to hit the gym on Monday. Mission accomplished, I got back in the saddle, literally, I like to go to spinning. But boy was it hard work, part of me thinks I had a dud bike today and the other part of me says "stop whining and get on with it, your out of shape", I'm giving them both equal time and the jury is out right now and whose right.

As I struggled to get the pedals to keep moving, one of my favorite songs came on, Fighter by Christina Aquiliera. Did that make pedaling easier? NO, but it brought to mind a lesson I was working on today in one of my continuing education classes for coaching. I suddenly saw the connection between red wine and the lesson, which focuses on the present being perfect, as it is right now. As Christina belted out "makes me that much stronger, makes me that much wiser, thanks for making me a fighter" I saw the connection, but damn it sure is a pain in the ass being a fighter some times. I pushed through the song and another and made it through the class.

Seeing the present as perfect darted in and out of my consciousness peppered with "why me" and "help" until I turned the corner (wow didn't see the metaphor before) onto Huntington Drive on my way home. That's when it hit me

What if red wine did not exist, or any alcohol for that matter? A sense of excitement came over me. It amazes me the shifts that can takes place when we change our thoughts. When I think of the idea of never drinking red wine again I have a sense of loss, of deprivation but if it does not exist that all goes away.

I am sure I am not the only one Christina is singing too. Many people struggle with challenges in their life; money, relationships, sex , chocolate to hit on some of the big ones, but what if these things didn't exist or more specifically we were to act "as if" they did not exist. Definitely food for thought.

Back to the Balls...

I talked a few days ago about the importance of knowing how many balls you can juggle consistently. Since then... I have been dropping balls all over the place. Some of them rolled across the living floor and went thump, thump, thump down the stairs, some of them rolled way in to the corner and joined the dust bunnies and some of them just lay smack bang in the middle of the living room floor. I always have one ball in the air, now I would like to add in the rest to see what is optimum or to explore if one ball is all I can juggle. Before we explore all that lets take away the mystery and identify the balls:

1. 6:30 AM morning meditation
2. 8:30 PM evening meditation
3. Transitional activity (5:30 PM from work to play time)
4. Marketing my upcoming events
5. Spinning 2-3 times per week (Mon, Wed, Sat)
6. Yoga/Pilates/Stretching 1 -2 times per week
7. Focusing on strategy 25 steps to expanding my biz
8. My group Momentum (teleconferences, newsletter, events)
9. Breaking Thru to Success - 90 day program (promoting and running)
10. Women's Success Circles - (promoting and running)
11. Personal foundation Sundays and regularly check in with progress
12. Speaking and booking speaking
13. Blogging
14. Systems for my biz
15. Business expenses and budgeting

15 balls and I am sure there are a few laying around I forgot. Out of all these balls which ones am I consistent with 90 % of the time?

• Blogging

Hmmm... I think it is time to prioritize. What are the next three balls I would like to be consistent with in order of importance?

1. 6:30 AM morning mediation
2. Transitional activity (5:30 PM from work to play time)
3. Spinning 2-3 times per week (Mon, Wed, Sat)

Steps to picking them up

• Set alarm clock
• Review work schedule and identify where it ends
• Make a list of transitional activities
• Plan B and C for optimum spinning schedule
• Put out clothes the night before
• Go to bed at 10 PM

I am also going to create a chart to track my juggling and review it daily.

If I Had a Magic Wand...

I run a group called "Artistic Women Inspiring Artistic Women" and we meet once a month. It is an amazing group of women and the synergy and inspiration I get from every meeting is priceless. This month I have a wonderful lady coming who is a hypnotherapist, she is going to do a guided visualization with us and then a short one on one session with one of the participants. I am intrigued, although I know nothing about the area of hypnotherapy. Accessing the mind and the different areas of the mind, logical and creative, to me is extremely creative.

The last few days I have been pondering the question

"If I could wave a magic wand and have whatever I wanted around pure indulgence and red wine, what would I want?"

It is easy to answer what you want if we are talking about dinner or what to wear, well most of the time anyway. What kind of car we want or purchasing a home might take us a little longer to decide but it is a tangible thing that eventually we can clearly state and therefore find, or find something close to our specifications and choose to make some compromises. The intangibles, the things we cannot touch, taste or smell are a little trickier.

When I work with clients the first thing we do at the top of the call is define "What do you want to focus on today?" Sometimes we may spend almost the whole call exploring and answering this question while others the clients comes ready to answer it immediately. In life knowing what we want is key for us to attaining it. If we cannot wrap our arms, or at least our head around what we want how d0 we know where to find it? How do we know when we have found or attain it?

In my quest for pure indulgence is red wine part of the equation? If so in what capacity? I defiantly see the see-saw of wine and pure indulgence, it is a delicate balance. Too much red wine send the see-saw up in the air squishing pure indulgence. Does too much pure indulgence send the see-saw in the other direction squishing red wine? I think it does, but is that what I want?

If I had a magic wand and Melany the hypnotherapist could wave it what would I want?

• Never to touch red wine again?
• No more than two glasses at one time?
• I might want to use the standard set in the clean sweep program of 2 glasses per week.
• Not while watching TV
• Only enjoying for it's own sake, being mindful and not doing anything at all while I enjoy it?
• Only when I go out?
• Never before 8:30 PM?

Or would my wish for the magic wand be around what I do want?

• In bed by 10:30 PM
• Meditate every night at 8 PM
• Have a cup of herbal tea every night before I go to bed
• Start my bedtime routine at 9 PM every night

The whole idea of getting what you want is a little scary too. By making a decision what might you miss out on? Do I truly never want to have a drink again and miss out on indulging at birthday celebrations or enjoy one glass of wine and a square of chocolate. If I never drink before 8:30 PM does that mean I never get to enjoy another champagne brunch? Actually I never have red wine at brunch so that option is looking a little more appealing. What this is all turning into now is a discussion around boundaries. What are my boundaries? Perhaps it is a combinations of wishes / boundaries that put together make the ideal situation. Maybe it's a combination of not before 8:30 PM and starting my bed time routine at 9:30 PM? The next question of course is does never mean never? If I cross that boundary what are the consequences, what situation would be OK to cross the boundaries?

A wonderful therapist I know describes boundaries as fences around our houses with a gate which we control, enabling us to let people in and out at our discretion. Perhaps in the case of addiction, did I really use that word! The problem is with the gate keeper.

One Ball Up, One Ball Down - Learning How to Juggle

Again and again clients come to me with the same dilemma, how can I do it all. My response is how many balls can you juggle consistently? As I gathered my new ball of expanding my business I seemed to have picked up an old familiar hitch hiker, red wine.

Saturday night I indulged in two wonderful glasses of red wine and a square of dark chocolate. I had been busy de-cluttering the dogie area and feeling satisfied that it was spic and span I put on my new Tori Amos CD, lit some candles and enjoyed the indulgence of it all.

Sunday I had a wonderful day going to temple and then we did our big monthly shop requiring two shopping carts! With my need for full cupboards satiated and an abundance of food my dad arrived for dinner. I started out with the intention of water and perhaps some pomegranate juice but my will was weak and before I knew I was sitting chatting on the deck glass after glass of wine in hand.

Monday I launched a new Success Circle. 8 wonderful women showed up and the evening was a huge success. At 10 PM I arrived home with one glass of wine and a square of chocolate firmly in mind, by midnight I had a bottle of red under my belt.

My preoccupation with expanding my business and the energy involve, physically and mentally has caused me to drop my pure indulgence ball. Working on the menu, check in sheet, agenda etc has taken the space reserved for meditation, unwinding and reading, my new read wine. I have hardly picked up a book in 2 days!

Today I fully intend to pick up the ball. With all this reshuffling and chaos of Kirk being laid off I need the stability of schedule to anchor me once again. I am returning to the "ideal day" drawing board.

Designing you ideal day is a wonderful tool to discover new and rediscover old habits and routines. It's an opportunity to:

• Dream a little, don't restrict yourself with time, money or any of the commitments you have right now.
• Create an ideal schedule full of things that make your mouth water, that enthuse you and give you life.
• Then after you have given yourself free reign take some time to picture yourself and visualize yourself enjoying your new schedule.
• It's great to post it or put it up in a prominent place as a reminder where you are heading.
• Then begin to bring in little pieces of your ideal schedule into today.
• At first it may be a 5 minute walk instead of a 90 minute hike every day.

You may have to make some compromises but use challenges as a stimulus to be creative and come up with creative ways to bring the essence of your ideal schedule into you life now. If you long for a chauffeur and a limousine to take you to your appointments perhaps while you are waiting for the abundance to arrive you could utilize a different kind of chauffeur a bus or the train. Get to the bottom of what you are looking for, in the above situation the important factor may be that you don't want to drive not that you want to travel in style. What you will undoubtedly find is that it is the little things that mean the most to us, that feed us. There may be some high ticket items involved but the things with staying power tend to the little things, champagne and caviar get old after a while but moms apple pie never does.

The Smell of Change

Hmm the smell of change is in the air as I embrace the moving of my cheese. I am on day 35 of my 100 day challenge and am enjoying immensely the fruits of my indulgent work. I am still blown away when I turn around to survey the road built from the last 35 days; if I squint I can vaguely see in the distance the red wine bottle left by the roadside, forgotten. I am not however spending a lot of time looking back especially in light of the recent moving of the cheese.

After Kirk's lay off from work I decided to thrown another ball into the mix; to expand my business and support our family. I am extremely lucky to have at my fingertips resources for almost everything you could imagine. I dug into these looking for a strategy to expand my business and came up with "25 Steps to Filling Your Practice" courtesy of Thomas Leonard and coachville. So I will be using this as my anchor as I focus on expansion over the next 65 days.

• Step 1: Get your clean sweep score above 75

Clean sweep is a great way to take a snap shot of your life. It is comprised of 100 true/false questions which address money, home environment, physical well being and every area of your life. It had been a while since I had taken the clean sweep and I was extremely pleased to see an increase in my score but I am still below 75. So I reviewed the questions and came up with 14 things I coud do which would bring me well over 75.

1. Car - oil change, check-up, clean and vacuum and set up a system to do so on a regular basis.
2. Clean and organize the laundry room.
3. One last sweep of my closet removing any items I don't wear, don't fit or need fixing and set up a clothes swap with my friends.
4. De-clutter guest room and post items on freecycle.org
5. Get a new toaster.
6. Set up an ironing station.
7. Fine tune office and add inspiring quotes, cork board in coaching area and create client progress sheets.
8. Shop for and install new shelving in Sofie's room.
9. Floss daily.
10. Save 10% of income.
11. Co-create a financial independence plan with Kirk.
12. Be mindful of gossiping and talking about others.
13. Review my wants and needs and the needless program.
14. Clean and organize dogie area.
15. Buy a really good pair of sun glasses.

A lot of you are probably wondering what all this has to do with expanding my business, having a solid personal foundation is essential for growth. I have been diligently working on mine for the last 2 years and am noticing all the wonderful benefits. By taking care of and getting your personal life in order you free up your time, money and energy to focus on moving forward or simply enjoying what you have.

• Step 2: Make a list of 25 people you know and write 3 things you want for each of them.

I have made my list of 25 people and this weekend will be exploring what I want for each of them.

How will this new ball fit into the challenge?

Every night I will review the 25 steps and schedule activities for the next day around the steps. I will also do the same thing over the weekend to springboard me into next week.

Now the smell of change smells like bacon and even being a vegetarian I can appreciate and enjoy that wonderful aroma. Out house is full of love, warmth and we are extremely comfortable, I have an amazing husband and am thankful for the wonderful things in my life.

Coming Out of the Cocoon

The Cult plays in the background, it popped up on my ipod screaming to be played when I plugged it in this morning. When I listen to it the first thing that comes to mind is boy have I come a long way. 18 seems so far behind be, how appropriate a thought as I am in the process of shedding yet another skin and spreading my wings again. Revived, renewed and seriously excited about the next level I stood on my branch yesterday ready to fly when...

I got a huge nudge. Kirk got laid off yesterday, I knew it was coming, I was expecting it but not in a doom and gloom where screwed he's going to lose his job way. Instead in an excited, secret, it's time for me to expand my business sense. So now a kind of fear and guilt is lurking in the background. The universe is standing hands on hips, "OK you asked for it, here it is!".

So where does this leave me with my challenge? It is time to up the game. As the end of this month scatters behind me my stride has widened, my feet are firmly on the ground and it is time to throw another ball in the air. I feel extremely confident that indulgence is tucked tightly but I will not say firmly under my belt and last night I explored some of the tools available to me to expand my coaching business. I truly believe I needed this extra shove of the branch. I remember standing at the top of one of those never ending slides at the water park looking down terrified. The slide was so steep it dipped in and you literally flew down with the water, taking off can be scary but unlike getting in the water you cannot do it slowly inch by inch. Taking off requires system checks, a deep breathe, a big hard run giving it all that you got, throwing yourself off the cliff and then just relaxing and catching air, trusting all the time that all will be well. It is time for me to trust in the words "jump and the net will appear". Whew!

Now don't get me wrong, Zen has not gone by the roadside. Taking on this task without turning to my old friend red wine will be a wonderful test of my newly built foundation. I relish the challenge and today will focus on checking all my systems to make sure they are running perfectly ready for take-off. If you are a long for the ride get ride to fly first class.

Potpouri

I am definitely feeling in the zen zone. After a wonderful Saturday in Santa Barbara I feel the currents of life and am enjoying the flow. For the first time ever I stopped work on Friday and still have not checked my email, I intend to begin work after I finish blogging. It feels fabulous. I am excited about work but the clean separation kept me present with family and relaxation over the weekend. I think reading is the new red wine, who would have thought! I finished the Wayne Dyer book in four days, just in time as the next one "Your Erroneous Zones" arrived in the mail. Until I started reading it every time I scanned the title I thought it said erogenous zones, a whole different thing entirely. I dealt with several things I had been putting up with yesterday afternoon including purchasing a new couch cover that, fingers crossed, does not come off when you sit on it. I am truly clearing the physical and mental clutter out of my life and really understand the relationship between the two. By clearing the mental clutter and tapping into what is truly important to me I am able to let a lot of clutter go. I am realizing that lots of the pieces of paper I was clinging too are unnecessary and in doing so I am finding the true jewels that were lost, I couldn't see the woods for all the tree's. I am feeling rested from my growth spurt and excited as the future unravels. I am looking forward to a wonderful week.

The Rhythm of My Conciousness

Every so often my daughter Sofie has a growth spurt. When she is in this mode I cannot give her enough food to satiate her incredible and unusual appetite. At first my husband will look at each other in awe at the depth of her appetite and then the penny drops and we realize, it's another growth spurt.

The last few days I have not been able to get enough sleep, I have been drawn to taking care of myself and resting. I am having a growth spurt. In adults growth spurts don't happen as often so it's easy to forget the signs. All of the wonderful work I have been doing on my quest for pure indulgence, all the inner exploration, meditation and learning has taken a lot out of my physical self and it's time for me to replenish and renew. I do not doubt for a second that if I had not been listening to my body I would be typing this with a sniffle or a cough or some kind of infection brought on by not taking care of myself. This is the first time I have acknowledged the energy it takes for spiritual and mental growth. Thanks to that I feel fabulous. My whole body tingles with aliveness, the 90 minute hike I went on yesterday has woken up my muscles and they are singing and my liver is enjoying a break from removing the red wine toxins from my body.

It is day 28 of the challenge and what I am aware of today are the cycles of life; of course some are more obvious than others. By focusing on pure indulgence and being present and conscious in my life I can sense the subtle ebb and flow of the change of the seasons within my body. Lots of things run in 4 week cycles; menstrual cycles and pay periods are the two most obvious that come to mind. Now I am curious about the phases in my cycle so far on my quest for pure indulgence.

Phase 1: Days 1 - 7 - Beginning - Physical Manifestation - Ecstasy, increased energy, commitment, a feeling of being incredibly grounded and a strong sense of routine.
Phase 2: Days 8 - 14 - Honeymoon is over! - Physical Manifestation - Feel like the carpet has been pulled out from under me, hard to gain footing, struggling to stick to routines.
Phase 3: Days 15 - 21 Curiosity -Physical Manifestation - Strong curiosity, a desire to get back to phase 1, beginning to get back into a sense of routine, lots of inner exploration of what drives and motivates my behaviours as well as re-connecting with my core values and my true self.
Phase 4: Days 22 - 28 - Heightened Awareness & Renewal - Sense of routine, tierd, need to take care of myself, enjoying the fruits of my new awareness and bringing it into my life.

It is amazing to zoom back and look at the big picture like this. I must admit this is something I have never done before. I'm excited about the perfect order of things. I'm also extremely excited in anticipation of re entering phase 1. This will be an interesting experiment to track and see if my journey continues to follow the same cycles.

The Peace of Purpose

As I continue on my journey of indulgence more and more I am reminded that it is the small, often no cost or low cost things that provide the most consistent indulgence for me.

For years my love of reading has been squashed by my busy life. I would sneak in a few moments here and there but my passion for it wained the more I neglected it; like a plant deprived of light and substance. During this challenge my love of reading is reborn. This did not happen immediately but now after a few days of pure indulgence I am enjoying the peace, calm and feeling of pure indulgence that reading gives me.

Last night I sat on the couch like a cat stretching and sighing in ecstasy a deep smile of contentment on my face as I read. Yesterday tension had began to build up in me and a desire for the quick indulgence of red wine began to bounce around my mind early in the evening. Instead I made a conscious choice to satiate myself in other ways first. I ate, drank some water, created a calm environment and meditated and then went upstairs and read. The minute I picked up my book and settled into the couch a calmness and peace settled into me. It was exactly the same feeling as the zen of red wine. Now isn't that interesting, red and read creating the same reaction!

Wayne Dyer speaks of the peace that comes when you are "on purpose". I interpret this to the peace of aligning with your core values, who you are and your unique talents and gifts. As I indulge I am indulging my core values, the true essence of who I am. One of my core values is peace and calmness and that value is acting as my gage of how I am doing. Now you may be wondering is red wine honoring my values, because as I just pointed out it also brings me peace and calmness but is that Zen? I believe the answer is yes and no. Another concept Dyer brings up is that we can never have 'enough" of what we don't want. I can have enough reading, I come to a place and I know I have enough or I become tiered and know that is enough. Red wine gives me a false sense of energy and does not satiate me. I never reach the point where I have had enough. This false sense of energy is limited and comes at a cost, I am borrowing Peter to pay Paul, Peter is the future. Borrowing from the future to pay for today. Reading on the other hand feeds and fuels me, the calmness it brings is mine I own it outright, it is not on loan from tomorrow. Now on the other hand if I have one glass of wine, feel satiated, enjoy it purely, not multi-tasking and not seeking intoxication, instead just apreciating it, then I am honoring my core values.

Elements of Pure Indulgences:

• Honor who you are
• You know when you have had enough - they satiate you
• They fuel and feed beyond today - they build reserves
• They work consistently
• Are an experience all by themselves not a means to an end

The Indulgent Giant Begins to Lose it's Monopoly

Every night as part of my 100 day challenge I am seeing what indulgences are in front of me and taking the time to indulge. Last night after hanging up the phone from the challenge check-in I stood up and opened my eyes to what indulgences lay around me. My eyes fell on the dining room table where a package lay address to me. All thoughts of red wine flew from my mind. I have been using a free service called paper back book swap, which I highly recommend (http://www.paperbackswap.com) and my latest book had I arrived. I have several books on route so I excitedly opened it, honestly not even able to remember what book I had ordered. Wayne Dyer's Real Magic, lay in my hands. I have just finished up a class on getting in touch with your vision, mission and purpose and this is one of the books recommended in the class.

With Sofie in bed and my husband tending to his aching back by indulging in a jacuzzi bath down stairs I settled down on the couch with the book. Every word, so far, resonated. I cannot wait to continue reading more. The book reminded me and reconnected me with my purpose and vision and well as laid out some wonderful tools I am excited to share with my clients.

Most importantly though it provided another nudge from the universe. A nudge to step up to the plate and be available, to be present and conscious. I think red wine is losing it's monopoly on indulgence. The clock is ticking as the competition moves in.

Finite Resources

What a wonderful day I had yesterday. I connected (one of my core values) with some of the wonderful women in my life and get their opinion on a survey I had put together. It only took a few minutes but just that little connection kept my fuel tank full the whole day. By the end of the day I had connected with over 20 women and produced some great work. I had been diligent about taking a few short breaks, not really indulgences though. In fact in I were to be completely honest I knew I should take breaks but was eager to get back to work and hurried through them. At 5:30 PM Sofie came babbling home, art work in hand and I went upstairs but left my head downstairs, or someplace else, either way I was not present completely with my body. At 6:30 PM I couldn't stand it anymore and I went downstairs to finish my project, I was having a little light at the end of the tunnel syndrome (you can read all about that in one of my previous posts). After 30 minutes I turned off the computer and went upstairs, red wine in hand.

Time is finite, not elastic. We all of course think we can stretch it but it is the great equalizer, rich or poor we all get 24 hours each day. Other resources in our life are finite too. Not all in the same way as time. Energy for instance is something we either have or don't have. We create a pile of energy which we can replenish if we choose to but when it it gone it is gone, it is finite. I bring this up because yesterday when I cut short my breaks and hurried through them they did not serve their purpose, they did not stock pile my energy. What I am noticing is that when I use up all my energy during the day I make unhealthy, easy choices later in the day. All that productivity during the day translated into me not being completely present with my family in the evening. Part of this was also due to skipping my transition from work to personal time. I am now on day 24 of my 100 day challenge and part of the challenge is solidifying healthy routines in my life, to anchor me. When I make a conscious decision to transition by walking around the block with Sofie or playing with her dolls house with her or taking a shower I am then able to bring my whole body to the party and spend quality time with my family and enjoy my evening consciously. Instead when I push myself to the max, which I admit at times is necessary but long term is detrimental. After the big push I immediately grab the unconscious solution, red wine. As wonderful as re wine is, if I make the red wine and skip the rest of my replenishing nighttime routine (meditation, pampering myself, doing things I love and enjoying pure indulgence) then I am further depleting my energy rather than replenishing the pile.

There are different types of energy and everyone has different ones that are necessary for them to function optimumly. There is spiritual energy, creative energy and physical energy (the energy necessary to complete physical tasks) to name a few. Each type is replenished in a different way and in different ways for different people.

Building reserves in your life is also an excellent way to tap into your attracting factor. So by going beyond just creating enough energy and spending less than you accrue you will see more opportunities coming your way. I have been noticing that a lot recently as I have been simplifying and making room to grow.

When we honor our core values we create energy. Which is why when we are doing goals, projects or tasks that tie in with who we are, our core values, often it seems effortless. It also takes a lot of energy to be present, conscious and focused so we deplete our energy quickly without realizing when we are honoring our values. I'm sure you have experienced crash and burn after working on something you loved and then wondering where you got the energy.

So in my quest for pure indulgence (read past posts for defintion), which is now incidentaly not limited to the evening, I must be mindful of energy.

Raising the Bar of Indulgence

In a wonderful indulgent evening last night I had a great discussion about feeling good. One of my core values is to feel good and pure indulgence makes me feel fabulous. Recently I am exploring how a one day retreat acted as a springboard into pure indulgence and feeling fabulous. I also think that one of other factors that made me feel good the first week of the challenge was that I raised the bar. I shared this with my husband and he brought up an excellent point. He stated that we only feel good when we are having a shift, when something is different. In his opinion if I wanted to feel good all the time not only would I have to take consistent action, that action would also have to intensify; either in length or in strength. His theory mirrors the idea of having to take more pain medication, alcohol or drugs to get the same effect if you do so on a regular consistent basis. "What about exercise ?", I challenged him, feeling smug. He stood by his previous statement backing it up by adding the idea that yes you can maintain your health by doing the same exercise everyday but in order to feel good you have to do more.

All of this when I stepped back made complete sense. Raising the bar is the same as doing more. So now the question is how far can I raise the bar without that itself becoming a "should" and losing it's feel good quality? Maybe there is a way around this, of course I want to raise the bar but it just feels wrong to make that a constant action, perhaps I could find a few different things that represent pure indulgence and make me feel good and sprinkle different ones into different days and approach each one fully conscious so that is is always a new experience.

All of this seems like a lot of talk and no action! But it is fun to explore. All this talk of raising the bar makes me think of boundaries and raising personal standards. We put boundaries and standards around our core values. When I felt good and raised the bar what core value or values were involved? Something to meditate on I think.

Another theme today seems to be that pure indulgence does not contain intoxicants. It is essential to be fully present, conscious to experience pure indulgence. This brings me back to a question I am also still contemplating. In Buddhism one of the precepts is not to become intoxicated and I have been contemplating where and when I am intoxicated. The precept is referring to intoxication from drugs, alcohol or negative situations but I wonder what the stance is for intoxicated situations, like feeling good. Perhaps the precept is addressing that too. For now I am going to focus on negative or unhealthy intoxication. There are times when I can have one glass of wine and feel intoxicated and other times when it takes several glasses, still other times I am so numb I don't feel the intoxication at all. What is the boundary around intoxication, where is the border for me? I think more contemplation is in order.

The Equation of Consistency

Today I am curious about the equation for consistency. What makes the first mile so easy? I'm curious because the first week of the challenge flowed so beautifully, it felt amazing, the best I have ever felt at times and I want to be able to recreate that flow and feeling great. To do that I am first going to examine the facts of the first week:

• It was new, it was different; I was shifting behaviour and habits that I had settled into over the last few years.
• My meditation was consistent, 6:30 AM, 12:30 PM, 7:30 PM.
• Felt well rested and easily got up feeling like I had enough sleep.
• Right before I began I did a one day retreat
• I had an amazing and productive month
• The first week was the first week of the month
• I facilitated a Success Circle the first day, lots of great energy
• Started new classes for my continuing education
• My nights were fairly free
• I felt flexible physically
• I was taking extremely good care of myself
• Eating healthy and preparing and had available easy snacks

The overall theme seems to be of new beginning, self-care and great positive energy.

What are the facts about the last 7 - 10 days

• Tired, clocks changed
• Allergies flaring up
• Not grounded felt like I was just being carried and thrown around, felt a little out of control
• Off schedule, appointments had to be re-arranged
• In the midst, towards end of month
• No morning meditation
• Going to be later
• Drank more wine

The overall theme here seems to be depletion, sickness, lack of control and structure.

So where and when did things shift? With the facts laid out I can see that renewing myself is essential to that feeling of flow. Beginning the challenge with literally a bank account full to the brim from my one day retreat acted as a springboard for me, launching me into the challenge. The clock change seems to be the turning point and preparing for that shift by resting up and being aware of the changes it would mean in my life would have been extremely beneficial. I'm really seeing the benefit of renewing myself at the weekend. The key to my success in the challenge and in my life perhaps lies there. Even if I am home, having a renewing routine at the weekend would be a possibility. While at the retreat I thought it would be great to get a group of friends together and create a retreat each of us giving our special talent. I will be exploring the components of my weekend retreat, how can I fit it in, what is the optimum amount of time, how much is not enough as well as checking in to see the differnece it makes to my lfe. Awareness is the precursor to choice which is the precursor to change; I definetly see my awareness heigtening here and look forward to the shift.

Tending the Garden of Indulgence

Day 17 of my 100 day challenge. To review, the first 7 - 9 days were amazing, I tapped into my natural flow and enjoyed my new routines. After the clocks changed everything was knocked out of whack and I floated around in turbulent waters for the next 7 days. The routine was washed away and I tried to swim back to shore, members of pure indulgence firm in my mind.

Today I reached the shore and managed to once again get up and meditate at 6:30 AM setting a strong foundation for my day. What the storm has taught me is that I like the calm waters. Pure indulgence is something I want and enjoy. Even in the choppy water that heightened sense of awareness kept me afloat.

One thing I am curious about from this experience is

how to tend my garden of indulgence?

In order for me to have the freedom that pure indulgence requires I need to have balance so that I can take care of the other things, the white noise, unfinished projects and shiny metal objects I desire. Creating order around these things I believe will give me a firmer foundation for my challenge. It seems that part of my challenge too then is to designate time to bring things to order is that I can have 100 nights of indulgence. I think one of my priorities this month will help me to create order...

Finishing unfinished projects.

This month I have been bringing my focus back to this priority and holding it in the forefront of my mind. Yesterday when I received a much desired new book in the mail, a shiny metal object glittered at me. I held strong a resisted the temptation to dig in and a wonderful idea blossomed in my mind. What if I used this to categorize and organize the white noise around me. Most clutter is simply a physical manifestation of a descion that needs to be made. What will this look like you ask? I'm picturing a sorting process for all the debris in my life all those things on a holding pattern circling the airport.

Sorting the Clutter

• One basket, box or whatever you like for bright shiny objects - things you really want to do, start or enjoy right now.
• One pile of things you have started subdivided perhaps into 1) Urgent things that need to be accomplished 2) Things you really want to finish 3) Things you don't want to do 4) Things that would take 2 minutes or less to complete 5) Things to throw away/abort/give away - come up with whatever works for you.

The beauty that seems apparent to me in this system is you are taking back control and forced to be honest about what all the stuff around you is. If you have all the shiny metal objects in perhaps a closed hamper, that you get to open and indulge in like a treasure chest when you choose, to it is much more empowering than being caught off gaurd in the middle of another tasks by the glint of a shiny metal object and thrown completely off course. If you wanted to take this a little further you could also explore why a certain object or task, such as facebook, has such a lure for you. What need is it satiating and then perhaps you could design helthy ways to feed that need. By categorizing you are also being honest about the things in Yuri life. Above all this process requires you be conscious about your life and the things in it, instead of leaving things to chance you are being proactive and take responsibility instead of reacting to things.

Maintaining the garden and clearing the weeds is an essential part of gardening. Simply eating the fruits of indulgence will quickly deplete my harvest. Today I will be putting on my gardening gloves, digging in and tending to the garden of indulgence so this evening I can have the freedom to indulge.

The Eb & Flow of Clutter

Environment definitely plays a big part in my 100 day challenge. Pure indulgence requires a certain amount of staging and as pure indulgence washes it's way into the rest of my life I am brought back to my desk. To continue with the analogy of the ocean my desk seems to have an ebb and flow like the tide. I just reached down and I think there is actually some sand on it, probably moon sand, if you have small children you will know that doesn't mean I am an alien. Debris repeatedly shows up on my desk and seems to do so in a consistent manner. There are times at my desk when I feel completely in the flow, like during my morning routine when I write my blog, but there are other times when I feel like I am drowning as I look for a book or important phone number that has sunk to the depths.

As I work on my personal foundation I have been de-cluttering like a banshee. As with all of the personal foundation work, this too is a journey and the program is designed to hit things from lots of angles, to wear them down or sharpen them as the case may be, like the rocks that surround the coastline. I am literally reshaping and refining my life.

One of the lessons, getting clear of the past, is really resonating with me right now. It's as if I have unlocked a door and now suddenly all the old journals, cards and sentimental memorabilia are free to move out of my life. Perhaps it is because I have a clearer sense of my self, a stronger understanding about who I am, what's important and my core values. My new rule, in with the new out with the old, is a piece of cake to enforce. Boxes of clutter almost line up automatically at the door ready for the next phase of their journey. This is freeing up room to grow in my life...

but not on my desk!

Recently I have taken too removing the debris from my desk and placing it in boxes to enable me peace and tranquility to work. To restore order in a quick manner. Because of this I became aware of the eb and flow of my desk. More stuff just keeps showing up! It is a wonderful physical example that until you deal with something completely it will continue to wash up on the shore of your life.

So what is all this debris?

• Business cards and contact info of new people I meet
• Receipts and bills that need filing
• Notes I take
• Plans for the future
• Computer programs
• Resources I pull to work on or quote
• Resources I print from emails sent to me
• Flyer's and marketing materials I have or am creating
• Books I am reading
• Invitations and events that I am considering attending
• To-do lists and more notes

Now I could focus on creating systems to handle all of this paper in my life and that is an important part of the process but first it is important to look at the common theme. Unfinished projects, thoughts, responses to lots of different things or coming to the mecca of my desk, just like all the phones in my house and my husband is betting that the six pairs of glasses I spread around the house will too.

Each month in the Success Circles I facilitate, you can find out how to join one at www.motivatemyself.com, I set 3 priorities for the month, to focus on. This month one of those priorities is finishing unfinished projects.

So before I work on clearing the debris there are a few key questions I need to contemplate:

• Where is it coming from?
• Why is it on my desk?
• How can I handle it so that it does not come back for at least 5 years?
• Why is this process working for me right now? What benefit do I get out of it?
• What do I need to change to move forward on this?

By answering these questions I can see that putting everything on my desk allows me to have the calmness, order and peace in other areas of the house and my life. My car also seems to collect clutter but I think by handling my desk I can eliminate the clutter in that area of my life as well.

Each of our values has a ying and a yang to it. The pendulum can swing in both directions and the value at the route of this clutter for me is creativity. I am extremely lucky to have a wonderful ability and joy in creating but like the porridge pot that would not stop making porridge it can overflow into my life and cause a breakdown if swung too far. In order to stop the debris washing up on my shore I need to control the amount I create and to have space to work on the things I do create.

Seeing something through to the end and handling it right away is the mantra I will keep in mind. This will not be a fast process but in experimenting with this mind shift I will then impact my life in many more ways than if I just sat down and created systems to control the clutter. Getting to the root of the behaviour, habit or belife is what coaching is all about. It enables you to make huge shifts rather than small short term victories in you life. It is truly an investment I hope you have the pleasure to enjoy.